I feel lost, I feel numb.

There are times I wonder, don't I deserve to be wanted and loved. Why isn't that I don't have a single person to hold on to when I'm all devastated and shattered. 

Have heard "I love you" many times from many but couldn't feel loved. I wish I could vibe, I wish I could connect, I wish I could fill this void.

Self love is something everyone suggests, why is it so difficult to practice it?

Mdzahur Uddin

Vishnu Vardhan Naidu 

I might can't answer your "why" but trust me some random day you'll get your someone to hold onto..till then prepare your side for him, coz somehow he is also gonna be expecting from his partner...

Gumnaam ladki

Compassion

What/who is god?

Life

I know this relationship is toxic, i know he is emotional abusive yet i stay. He is miles away now but control he has, his ego remains the same. I remain not important, i remain a hobby or something. My cry for emotional help goes unheard. God, i have to beg someone to treat me right and he still won’t. Don’t know what i did to deserve this.
I know i should walk away, i know it better than anyone ever could but why the fuck am i unable to do so 

Boyfriend

Why i am not pretty like girls?..why no one loves me?? Why i always gets rejected?? I am loosing my confidence..if i was pretty things would have been different...i am fat and ugly girl...no one loves me..all of my friends and people around me are so pretty...they don't have dark circles or pigmentation they have perfect body...i am not comfortable in gym too... because i am the only ugly duckling there...even the trainer of the gym didn't  show any interest in teaching me...he was always after pretty girls...do i don't deserve to be happy...iam so sick of being ugly?? Why can't people accept me?? Why ??

Failure

How does it even feel to not care about people? I wanna know the taste of it and to also feel that I don't care either but I do, I always care so much that people don't like my hairstyle or if I'm annoying and I can eventually tell that I am since I'm always the one being left on delivered and hardly on seen but I feel like I'm the problem here, the society can be like this or that but... what about me? where's my place between all of y'all out there in the world? where is my place in the society? where do I fit? if only I could fit somewhere it wouldn't even be enough for me to be accepted since everyone is always judging everyone on a daily basis, y'all can't deny that y'all never do it I know people do it and mainly when gossiping with friends or relatives, do I need to act like everyone in order to be included in the society?

Society

I've made friends with two of my sisters friends. we have lots in common. they work but hardly, theirs always on social media. I've reached out to them etc but they hardly reach back out to me. I'm about to give up on them. I hardly have friends other than my online friend of 7 years. 😔. 

Friends

feeling confused anxious indecisive body

Career

I am feeling stressed and tired. My twin brother has recently passed away and ever since then anything I do, my family would make a comment about him. It would usually go something like, "you sounded just like him" or "he would of liked that" or "he would have thought that was funny." At first I didn't mind the comments because maybe that was their way of grieving. Ever since he passed, my mom has started giving me mean looks whenever i am talking or just existing. She has continuously told how my ex still likes me or tries to bring him up in every conversation. And every time i ask her to stop she gets mad at me and wont talk to me for the rest of the day. This happens almost everyday and sometimes she shakes her head. This may seem insignificant to some, but to my and my messed up mind, its like im always failing everything i do and should not be loved by anyone. This has messed me up a lot and have led to many panic attacks and attempts on my life. However, yesterday was my graduation party and would have been his also. Even through getting ready for my graduation and during graduation, all my family talked about was my brother. I understand it to a point because it was a special day for him, but my family never once spoke my name or about me. I know this is selfish of me and my mind is really beating me up feeling this way, so don't berate me about being selfish. Anyway, during graduation my parents never took any pictures or said anything to my friends and teachers. I am in the band and during the ceremony we have to get up to play. This made me really emotional as I am leaving my family to start college. As I am coming back to my seat with tears running down my face, my parents turn to me with disgusted looks on their faces and asked me why I was crying and told me that no one really cared that I was leaving. This absolutely broke me. Fast forward to my party, my parents set up a picture next to mine, which was a nice gesture and I absolutely loved it. They constantly talk about my brother and cry, which I don't mind because I miss him too, but completely ignore me. I am sit in the corner with my friends and only talked to by a couple people. As the party is winding up my parents give me a gift which is a build-a-bear bunny with a button that has my brother laughing. I honestly enjoyed it but it made me slightly uncomfortable. Before everyone left my mom made me release a balloon in my brother's honor after I told her I was uncomfortable. She yelled at me for being an awful and selfish child, and told me that she wished I died instead of my brother. I know this isn't technically a rant, but I needed to say it in words before I spiral into another panic attack.

Child Abuse

I turn to my friends when i am sad. Or i keep it to myself. Depends on the situation

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts