I exercise sometimes. Sometimes I don't. I'm at a place in my life where I am not obsessed with how I look. My vessel is not for vain things in life. Beauty is unattainable. Perfection is false. I've abandoned all of it. It gives me freedom to not be part of the crowd. Gives me freedom and peace to look at myself the way God looks at me. 

I am so happy for you and the maturity you have acquired is something people strive for everyday. I hope I get there some day too :)

I really wish people think of themselves the same way you do. 

Mental Health

I feel very confused all the time.. I don't feel to do anything.. I mean people have goals and dreams but i always feel empty... I have nothing to follow... I don't feel like to do anything... It's been so long I feel this way... And because of this I feel like I i don't deserve anyone in this world who have goals and who have willingness towards their life... It's like I will ruin their life as well. 

Depression

It’s been a month since she left me… we have been together for over 2 years we have an apartment together and cats and built a home. 4 months ago she started a new job and met someone there she cheated on me by kissing this person and texting them and then tells me that she wasn’t in the relationship for months anymore. She broke me. Since the breakup I can’t sleep or eat properly. I still want her back and want to fix everything cause she was great all in all I love her for the things that she has done right instead of hating her for the one thing she has done wrong. She still doesn’t want to come back and now I have to restart my life alone. I can’t handle this anymore and I want to move on but I feel stuck here. And most of this is my fault and I can’t stop blaming myself. 


Breakup

I think my inner self and i don't fully let It out properly like communication I want tell something and i think of it and let it pass without telling and assuming that I told or something like that and it affects every aspect of my life I am facing horrible consequences of it 

So I kept this thing to myself and never shared it with anyone but today I feel that I should talk about it.
Last year I was in 11th grade and of course, due to the pandemic, the schools were closed. 
I started talking to this boy who was in my grade only and he was a very sweet boy. I mean I had never met a boy like him. I started to have feelings for him and I think even he had feelings for me but he was too shy to express them. I liked him so much that I could literally do anything for him. At that time I was giving exams for admission to another school. I thought that if I don't get accepted into another school, I will definitely date this guy. But I got accepted and decided that maybe I should not date him now because it will be really hard for us to see each other and my parents were already very strict, they did not let me go anywhere.
So when I got accepted I thought that I should just tell him how I feel about him because I was really not able to keep that to myself. I confessed to him and he said the same thing that  I've changed my school and we won't able to see each other so often. And after that, we did not talk that much not because we were awkward or something, it's just we were out of topics but still we used to have short conversations in a month or two.
Now, we hadn't talked in a while, and on the night of 21st October (it was also his birthday), my friend called me and said that "He has committed suicide". 
I can't describe what I felt. It was so heart-aching that I couldn't believe what I heard for the next few minutes. I thought that some people are pulling a prank but I was wrong. He actually committed suicide. 
That night was the worst night of my life. I loved him. I loved him so much that not for a second I could think about anything else except him. I did not expect that I would get hurt this much. I have never loved anyone that much. The tears won't stop coming out of my eyes. I couldn't even share it with anyone else because they would think that I'm doing all this for attention and drama because he and I were not that close in school.
It's been 7 months since he is gone, I still have feelings for him. I still cry. I still miss him. 
The grief is still here.  Sometimes he comes to my dreams and it breaks my heart to look at him, to think about him. I have not recovered from this tragic incident yet.
Wherever he is, I hope he is happy and in peace.❤️


Broken 💔

Life

I met this guy online and I think in actually catching feelings. He makes me blush and smile. He's always on my mind and I cant stop- I dont know if this is good..I feel insane! 

Crush

I am an attention seeker. I will be honest, i feel so depressed if i don't talk to someone for some time and don't get attention from others. When i get ignored sometimes, i curse myself saying that i am useless and a loser... I know i am not. But i keep craving affection from others and hate to be criticized. Can this be improved?

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts