I don’t know why i get sad and have mental break downs at night. I am crying now. I just remembered how my ex gf messaged me all the time when i texted. But now i am waiting till she replies all day. I wish the healing process was faster.
My heart is heavy. Wish i could go back to the time i didn’t know her. Not because i love her. But because maybe we both wouldn’t have been in this pain if that happened. But i am grateful for all the time i spent with her. For every moment i shared. That’s what keeps me going.
I wish i could direct this pain and sadness to something good. Something productive. But i feel like my energy is draining.
Am i wrong to be yearning for her love still? Am i wrong to feel this way? Am i wrong for loving too hard?
I want ask the universe why this happened to me. But i don’t know. This pain and sadness never seems to end.
No matter how much i think that i would control messaging her, everytime she replies, i get excited. I forget everything and strat messaging. I forget always, that she also is trying to move on… I feel bad for being like this.
I used to be a very strong person. I don’t know what happened to me. Love hurts. I feel sorry for myself. I want to take care of myself better. Love me better. But i feel like my life got just stucked.
Feeling lonely. And sad. Crying in pain. Hoping a miracle would happen, tho deep down inside i know it’s not possible.