I don’t know where to begin. Should i talk about family issues or my own issues? Time has changed. For all these years i was hiding my demon inside me in this crowd of family and " friends". Now for last two years im livin’by myself , alone. And now i came to realise who i am. Im a loser. Every morning i get ready ,i go to work, i come home, and jump into my phone. Talk to strangers. Sometimes i cry to them. Sometimes i argue and fight with them. Sometime i crack jokes. Insort i do everything to keep myself away from reality. I don’t wanna think about it. My life is Fallin apart, or maybe it has already fallen. I’m not close to my parents, i don’t have friends. People scared shit out of me . I can go to any extent to avoid them. Yeah, i don’t have a life.2 years of constant use of online platform, i built a virtual world there.i had people there that i know and i guess they too have started recognising me…so what i did? I disappeared from that plateform, just like i did to the people in my real life.
Umm, my parents don’t understand me, neither do my siblings. I, actually didn’t put much efforts to make them understand what i am goin through. Friends? I never had them. I used to good in academics, i have destroyed that too. In fact i lied my parents about my scores once…still fell guilty. Ahh, the expectations all middle class parents have with their kids…it sometimes is overwhelming…am i insane?.i guess not. I really don’t what’s the purpose of this life. I’m done hiding. I can’t take this anymore. I just wanna run away… i am not sad. I just don’t feel things.
1. You’re not insane. It can be overwhelming for real.2. Consider speaking to a psychologist/therapist about your lack of feeling things and the inclination to run away/disappear.3. Don’t feel guilty about your scores or not being honest to your parents about it. Literally everyone has does that at some point in their lives.4. If you feel as though you haven’t been able to make an effort to explain what you’re going through, maybe now might be a good time to start? Just a little insight, that helps you open a bit more than before, is worth a shot. You’re doing alright, it’ll get better, just keep going xx
