I dont know what is happening.  It's like am feeling so much and I am not feeling anything 
Everything has changed last year I had brother besides and it will be one year today that I haven't seen him touched him hugged him or anything.  I wish I knew what was gonna come. If I knew I would have never let go of him. I can't get this thought out of my mind and I feel like am losing everything. I miss him so much and there's nothing I can do. 

Does anyone else feel like they cant live with out a certain person 
I cant live without her Voice
I cant like with out her face
I cant live without her smile 
I cant live without her personality 
I cant live without her favorite things
I cant live without her....

Relationships

A tenant in my apartment committed suicidé today. I did not know him at all but thinking about something like that happening at such close proximity and no one being able to help or stop it from happening is just disturbing. At the same time I feel that I'm being selfish thinking about my own emotions of finding this disturbing at this time instead of thinking about it. I can't do anything I can't be of any help and that bothers me.

Suicidal Ideation

Any Westworld, Stranger things, Game of thrones, Vikings, Peaky Blinders,,, fan here? 

Life

I meet a guy in dating site (my friends recomend me bcz all my friends are eventually married have kids or they are dating) He was a polite guy i like him just for his behaviour, so we start talking and he delete his dating profile the next day he said i found what i m looking for but at that time I didn't believe him it's feels like so good to be truth bcz ( i have trust issues from my past relationship) i told him to take things slowly he said ok when you are ready,things going good then we meet ( we live 200km away ) and realised how nice he is in person like I didn't even notice this on text or Phone calls the way he treat other people,kids, dogs. I fall for him that moment i knew it he's the one...
Then happen problems he went to his hometown and his mom saw our pictures on his phone, his mom ask him he told the truth that i am his gf then his family is totally not ok with me being his gf but at that time he stands for me and leave his house for that day and didn't speak to his family in calls i feel so bad after that i thought i m like in his life for 3- 4 months its not good not healthy...Then few days later his mom make threat calls like "i m gonna kill myself if you talk to that girl" so he said to his family that ok i m gonna leave that girl but he didnt leave me .

He continued to balance both side he told lies to his family and at some point i feel so fustrered when ever he goes to his hometown he totally vanished didn't text me call me anything he also told me his mom is looking for girls and last time he told me he didn't wanna marry anyone not even me bcz he don't wanna disrespect his family and that he love me so he can't marry another girl...
I was in mixed signals i don't know what to do I can't confront him i feel like he is pain so i just let this thing hang we don't have a official relationship and i am not ok with this











Confusion

Suggest me some good songs 🎶

3am Thoughts

Toote hue khwab... .
Tooti hui Ummeeden... .
Toote hue dil... .
Toote hue rishton... .
Ki kabar me... .
Zinda he to hy hum... .
~Idiotics 

Things i like

×Games.
+Shadow fight arena
+Minecraft
+Fortnite

×Fruits.
+Banana
+Strawberry
+Grapes

×street food
+Sandwich
+Uttapa
+Frankie

×subjects
+Science
+English
+Geography

×sports
+Ball badminton (i am a state level player)
+Badminton
+Basketball

No one asked but i just wanted to type so...yeah🤍



To anyone in love thinking about confessing to their crush and whether they should do it or not, as someone who just did it yesterday let me tell you why you should indeed do it. And no I'm not saying this bc I got lucky and my crush liked me back or something cuz I in fact got rejected and lost a potential friendship yet I still think this is the best decision I've ever taken.
Things you should know:
1- the chances of your crush liking you back are always lower than the chances you'll get rejected. Your crush liking you back might be very unlikely.
2- Even if there's a 1% chance it's still a chance, just like how you might like them without them having a clue they could like you, and you could have no idea
3- Rejection is a good thing and shouldn't be taken personally, it's not you, it's them. There can be many reasons; they like someone else, they are not attracted to your gender, they don't want a relationship, they just don't like you bc they haven't felt that way and that's about it. Think about all the people you think are great and good looking yet you would probably reject for whatever reason then you might understand them and how it has nothing to do with you.
4- If they don't like you, you need to know it and hear it in order to move on. Even if you already know the answer, even if you constantly say "they would never like me back, I know they don't) deep down there's always a hope, you'll always wonder, you'll always have doubts and "what if's" which will make you never be able to let go, you'll hold on in fear of letting go being the wrong choice you'll regret things and think about everything you could've done but didn't, instead if they tell you they don't like you, you will know there's no point in spending time thinking of them, and there's nothing to fight for bc they don't want to be fought for. Trust me moving on get's much easier.  you'll get a broken heart, but "if you got a broken heart just take a chance" 
5- If you are friends with this person and you're worried about losing the friendship let me tell you, if someone stops being ur friend bc of that maybe they weren't such a good friend in the first place, if they cared about ur friendship as much as you do they would try to save it, although it's understandable if things get uncomfortable, but I mean weren't they already before, don't you think it's worst to stay friends when you are aware that u want something else, don't you think that person deserves to know? If you are there wouldn't you want to know how ppl around feel about you rlly, isn't it more uncomfortable and bad to not say anything at all. 
6- are you worried about them getting mad at you, if they do let me tell you they have no right to, it's not your choice you felt for them, you can't help falling in love, if I were them i'd be flattered to know someone else likes me, so although there's a chance they might be assholes but they shouldn't be and they would mostly like to know they're special to somebody else and capable to be loved. So let them know cuz they probably deserve to. 
7- There comes a lot of merit from someone who has the courage to say how they feel, a lot of people would envy you, I used to be those people who envied others for being able to say what I thought I could never do, let out the brave in you and just go for it, you are stronger than you think you are and I know you can do it, I gained a lot of confidence from it, while thinking I would just hate myself for it but guess what it was the opposite, same thing might be for you!!
8- Be prepared for everything not only getting rejected but being told they feel the same as well. That is indeed a possibility, so be confident without getting your hopes up. Don't think you'll absolutely get rejected nor that your feelings will be reciprocated. 
9- Maybe do it by text if you're too nervous to tell them in person, you'll have more time to think what you say and it will be less embarrassing. If you decide to do it this way maybe get a friend to call you and be on call while you tell them, or just be there by your side, having someone else will definitely make it much easier and more exciting which will help you hesitate less and control your feelings.( if u have no one to be there for u at the time you can let them know I can be ur emotional support lol)
10- Good Luck!!!!🍀💚

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts