i don’t know how to describe my feelings. numbness is all that comes to mind, but a few months back, suicidal thoughts were all that were there (i dont have those now, im past that), but before that, were thoughts which knocked me down. most of the thoughts were just insecurities, and coupled with overthinking, it didn’t go down well with me. i feel like the list is endless,and day by day i just develop more and more insecurities and become more and more self conscious. I have those now, but i can’t rly feel much. i did some research, and most led me to therapy. but it seems like i can’t get that without my parents knowing, which i absolutely do not want. i’ve nvr had a good relation with them, and i feel as though only recently have they started to realise i’m there when i started straying away from them. i have a sibling, and they usually give/gave 99% of their attention to her, as she opens up about how she feels negatively sometimes. so my parents always focus on her, and i guess they think that i can’t rly be feeling that way (cuz stereotypes) because im a 16 yr old guy. i’m not sure where this numbness could lead to, cuz i also always overthink. a lot. i’m always worried, and a slight mishap makes me stress endlessly. it seems rn, that i’m distracting myself. as i do research, whenever i read something i can truly feel fits me, i being to tear up. not sure if this is cuz ive been avoiding my feelings this whole time or smn, but i think i need therapy for that.
tldr; feeling numb and overthink a lot, kinda wanna do therapy but apparently parents need to be involved which i don’t want, advice?
i feel you should go for therapy. now and me has therapists too. you could just ask your older cousin or friend to be your guardian to avail the therapy without your parents knowing.
i’m in a different country from the rest of my family. i only have my sibling and parents here, neither of whom ik i can rely on. the rest of my family in another country would never even think about helping me without my parents knowing, as we even have our own family issues
got any friends who are adults?
No, most of my friends are my age, and I don’t want to do something that would hurt my parents either, becuz rn, they don’t know anything about me as they think they do, and so going to therapy and stuff reveals so much to them, and Ik for sure that this will make them hate me, and there’s no, absolutely no other possible reaction. And the friends I do have now, they’re nice and all, but I don’t think anyone would want to take the time to help out, and they’ll probably see me differently as well. Which I don’t want either
