Thought

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Anonymous

I can’t really decide…
I just had my first MUN last month. It was definitely not the best experience (it was horrid) but I knew that I shouldn’t completely give it up, β€˜first MUNs don’t go really well’, or at least as planned. I knew that I shouldn’t judge my β€˜MUNing skills’ based on my very FIRST MUN. Even though, other delegates in my committee were just too good, extremely hard to beat and very contentious, I excused myself claiming they had more experience and were not as lost as I am. I took it easy on myself. But when my ~8th grader friends~ won recognitions, I didn’t feel too good. Their first MUN went really well (maybe not really well, but pretty well…) Now, I started to question my MUNing abilities. β€˜It’s just not my thing!’ I said to myself, but then again, it WAS my first MUN, everyone takes their time, I guess. Now if this wasn’t already a problem, another inter-school MUN opportunity came my way (of course), which is obviously great as I’ll get more experience and can get better at it. But then, I started recalling my first MUN and how stressed out I was before, just going on researching, only to find out that it wasn’t enough. When I think about the β€˜prestigious, elite MUN Club’ and how badly I want to be a part of it, I feel like giving it a go, what’s the worse that could POSSIBLY happen, but then I feel like giving myself a break, it was too much to handle for someone like me. Then I start remembering the slight fun that I had during the conference and what all I learnt from my first experience, but it isn’t easy to speak up in front of so many wayyyy more experienced and confident delegates. Sometimes, I feel like I should just go for it, it WILL be a great experience after all (I mean they do have a β€˜socials and DJ session’) but then I think of all the other reasons why I shouldn’t go and restrict myself. I watched Priyanka Chopra’s Youtube Original, β€˜If I Could Tell You Just One Thing’ for the second time, recently. She even interviewed Simone Biles, and when she asked her the β€˜one thing’ she would like to say to her and everyone watching, she said, β€œRisk-taking. Do something that terrifies you, everyday. It makes you realise your value and who you are as a person” That made me think differently, maybe I should do what intimidates me. Even though I’m still not completely sure about doing this MUN, I do feel encouraged and hope that I can come to a conclusion…

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