Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I can’t really decide…
I just had my first MUN last month. It was definitely not the best experience (it was horrid) but I knew that I shouldn’t completely give it up, ‘first MUNs don’t go really well’, or at least as planned. I knew that I shouldn’t judge my ‘MUNing skills’ based on my very FIRST MUN. Even though, other delegates in my committee were just too good, extremely hard to beat and very contentious, I excused myself claiming they had more experience and were not as lost as I am. I took it easy on myself. But when my ~8th grader friends~ won recognitions, I didn’t feel too good. Their first MUN went really well (maybe not really well, but pretty well…) Now, I started to question my MUNing abilities. ‘It’s just not my thing!’ I said to myself, but then again, it WAS my first MUN, everyone takes their time, I guess. Now if this wasn’t already a problem, another inter-school MUN opportunity came my way (of course), which is obviously great as I’ll get more experience and can get better at it. But then, I started recalling my first MUN and how stressed out I was before, just going on researching, only to find out that it wasn’t enough. When I think about the ‘prestigious, elite MUN Club’ and how badly I want to be a part of it, I feel like giving it a go, what’s the worse that could POSSIBLY happen, but then I feel like giving myself a break, it was too much to handle for someone like me. Then I start remembering the slight fun that I had during the conference and what all I learnt from my first experience, but it isn’t easy to speak up in front of so many wayyyy more experienced and confident delegates. Sometimes, I feel like I should just go for it, it WILL be a great experience after all (I mean they do have a ‘socials and DJ session’) but then I think of all the other reasons why I shouldn’t go and restrict myself. I watched Priyanka Chopra’s Youtube Original, ‘If I Could Tell You Just One Thing’ for the second time, recently. She even interviewed Simone Biles, and when she asked her the ‘one thing’ she would like to say to her and everyone watching, she said, “Risk-taking. Do something that terrifies you, everyday. It makes you realise your value and who you are as a person” That made me think differently, maybe I should do what intimidates me. Even though I’m still not completely sure about doing this MUN, I do feel encouraged and hope that I can come to a conclusion…