I can’t help but sit in my kitchen feeling bloating, fat, ugly, angry, upset, worried, and unloved. For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with my eating habits but it didn’t start to affect my life THAT much up until two years ago. I know I already ate, I know I’m full. I had 6 huge hunks of these almond butter bars and then two small tacos. Earlier I had a small bowl of cereal with a whole mango. I feel sick. I feel unloved. My boyfriend doesn’t know. My friends don’t understand. My parents will think I’m dramatic. My siblings are tired of hearing it. I’m so lost and so so so angry and I just wanna hide because I don’t feel like I deserve love.
I’m sorry you feel this way, just know you’re better then that, and I love you, you shouldn’t have to feel that way because you think you aren’t perfect, no one is and everyone has flaws, I need you to not dwell on them so you can be the happiest you that you can be
Hi. I go through binge eating and purging as well. It’s been over a year since this is happening. It’s not just you going through this and it’s not you just eating away your problems. I know how it feels and you can’t control it. This urge comes when you just feel like eating anything and everything. It usually happens with me at night around 11pm when everyone else has gone to sleep. I feel triggered to go to the kitchen and eat. Mostly I eat packets of biscuits, bowls of oats and mango, bowls and bowls of cereal without being able to control myself. I know what you mean. What really helped me was:
1) Firstly, I was on a diet for a very long time which made me binge more. I stopped dieting since 2 weeks and am eating normal food without measuring anything. I still binge but my quantity has reduced immensely.
2) I have started a 5 second rule- whenever I feel like binging, I count from 5 to 1 ( 5 4 3 2 1 ) and just walk out of the kitchen. Really helps.
3) I spoke about this with a friend of mine and tried to understand my behaviour. It’s important to talk it through- about what you are feeling before eating, while eating and after eating. It will help you. Please do talk about it!
