Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I am scared to keep pets. Thou I like having them but I am scared that i won’t be able to take good care of them and they will die. in the past our family had many goldfish but they all died. The fishtank would usually would be in my room too. So, after a fees weeks when they started to die, each morning I would wake up the sight of one of them already death, floating in the water surface. This kept on going until all die. My mom bought more but they also die. I started to feel guilty and sad of their death even thou I tried my best but still they died, so it left me with a shadow. Everytime I would see other pet fishes I would always feel scared and hurt. One time my sister caught some wild fishes saying she would keep it. I was so relquent…I was very scared that I would wake up at the sight of them death. I would check them every once in a while. Later, my sister released them back to the place where she caught them from. I felt relieved and happy. I don’t know how can I come out of this shadow that preventing me from keeping pets, making me feel fear and scared of the sight of my pets death the moment I open my eyes from my sleep.