I am not feeling good for so many days. I feel like I don’t even have someone to talk to. I am literally very stressed. There is this whole situation that I am not able to manage. I am working on my thesis, I lost all my data , had to curate new and this whole getting a job thing is getting is anxious. I have a lot of work but I am not able to compelete it. I was never like this before. After the lockdown, I have become so casual and I stress a lot. I get these panic attacks, start crying every other day. I am very very stressed. I am not able to manage things at all. I just don’t feel good and I feel very lonely.
Is making me anxious*
Hi. I’m sorry you’re feeling so terrible. I can’t exactly mail you a friend, as cool as that would be, so all I can give is a few suggestions on how to either find some superficial connection for now OR to try to handle your feelings of loneliness.
So firstly, thanks to the internet it’s possible to connect at any hour of the day with other people, because even if it’s 4am where you are, in some part of the world people are wide awake and active. So you could try finding various chat sites or apps, you could check out discords or even play a game like Oldschool Runescape which allows you to chat in the game. This would give you at least some superficial sense of connecting, perhaps - BUT I should warn that these forms of communication usually eat up lots of time very quickly. Another method might be just going out (if you’re allowed, depending on the rules where you are) to buy some essentials and see if you can at least strike up a casual conversation with someone, but you might be too shy for this. For now, as frustrating as it is, maybe the best you can do is accept the loneliness for now but try to manage it. Remember that it won’t be forever, and this could give you some space to dedicate to yourself, your work, and not be distracted, so you could even see it as a positive thing.
As for the anxiety and stress. This sounds like the buildup of lots of tension and low-level anxiety accumulating to the point of being overwhelming. One thing I might suggest is try doing some physical STRETCHING exercises, something like the Yoga ‘Sun Salutation’ exercise, I find that these sorts of positions, especially the stretch ones, really help release pent-up stress, you’ll feel a sort of ‘burn’ doing stretches that releases tension and relaxes you a bit. You could also try Pranayama exercises like alternate nostril breathing to relax, get your mind off your problems and absorbed in your body for a moment. Then you could also try doing this… ask your body, as if you’re asking another person “What are you trying to tell me with these horrible anxiety feelings?”, I think you’ll find that it’s all little worries that accumulate. If you ask this question, i’m sure the answers you get will be about issues you face - then you could try ‘saying’ to your body, “Thanks I’ll try to tackle those issues as best I can, now STOP STRESSING”. This seems like a silly exercise but the point is ultimately stress and anxiety when they reak high levels only make things worse but you do have SOME control in decreasing them and slowing the pace of your thoughts. Take time to plan out how you can TRY YOUR BEST to complete the work you have to in the time you have left. Find alternate solutions - have you asked if an extension is possible, considering you lost data? Is there someone who could help you with your thesis by, for example, finding citations and writing THOSE up while you do the main work? If you already started then even if you lost the data, much of the core argument of the thesis must still be in your mind somewhere, it can come out. If you’re dealing with distractions, there are computer programs like “Cold Turkey Writer” which you can get a free version of, which ‘locks’ you for a certain time period from doing anything but writing - I’ve found it can help me focus, it might help you. Is there a ritual you can do to focus on getting through work? Some tea and fruit to keep your mind clear and energised, some nasal breathing beforehand to get oxygen to the brain, etc? Write in segments, write things out without being perfectionistic, knowing that nobody needs to see it until you go over things at a later time to tidy it up and improve it, etc.
Also did you really lose the data entirely? Did you know some data can be recovered? If it was accidental deletion, if you know the filename, or the folder the data was in, you can use an ‘undelete’ program like ‘Recuva’ (I believe it’s free too) to scan for files that were deleted but haven’t been overwritten and sometimes recover them. There are guides on how to do this online and you could search for information on best recovering the type of data you’ve lost (ie is it a document, photos, excel spreadsheets, etc). Don’t waste too much time trying this or get your hopes up too high, but it might be worth a quick try.
Take a moment to give yourself a hug, tell yourself you’re doing your best, and that’s all you can do. Let go a little but also try to transmute your stress and anxiety into REASONABLE ACTION, little steps and plans to try to improve your situation as best you can. Just imagine you’re the captain of a ship in a terrible cyclone. Hey, things look terrible, much of your crew has been swept off the ship, the ship is damaged and you may possibly go down… but hell you can’t just give up, and panicking or crying for more than a short time certainly won’t help either. Just do your best to try to keep the ship going for now, moment by moment, and things might change - the storm could evaporate, or whatever. Now also remember that you’re NOT really on a ship in the middle of the ocean in a cyclone, and that even if you fail, even if you fail your thesis or don’t get a job for a while, it’s not necessarily imminent death! You might well fail or things could get worse, but they’re not entirely lost… and hey even if you DID die, who says sometime in the future people won’t find a way to bring you back?
Best of luck, lots of love. 😄
