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Anonymous

I am feeling really bad, i did something really wrong, i took a loan and i am not able to pay it, now i told my parents, my father is jobless since this covid shit happend, now i m getting so much bad thoughts, i want to leave my home so that i will not be a burden to my parents. The only thing thing is going in my head is that i am the worst human alive. I cannot leave my home bcoz if i do it, they still have to pay that loan. They are already in trouble and i can’t see them in this situation. I am a stupid person. I thought i will get a job then i will pay the loan, but i didn’t thought that if i dont get the job, what will happen. I don’t know what should i do.

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Anonymous

Okay so first of chill and tell what’s the loan amount and from where you have taken and obvious interest rate. Just by thinking that you’re a bad person because of the loan then please don’t. Now you have to calculate everything you do. Management is the key. Everything will be fine and you’ll pay the loan but for this you have to change your mentality. You should take a look at your management.

a

Hi, I’d like to give you my advice. I took out a loan in 2015 when I was at university, not knowing the implications it would have later on in my life, and it caught me up in some heavy debt. I managed to get out of it, but it took a few years! So realise that it’s possible and it might take some time. Please don’t pressure yourself to have to pay it back in a strict amount of time, even if you do have to. Because that stress is unbearable. Take some time to craft a plan about how long it will take to pay this loan back. It’s tough with covid I can imagine, but it’s not impossible. Make this is your main focus, because right now this is in the back of your mind and things won’t get better until you release it from your mind. When the ball is rolling and money is getting paid back you’ll respect yourself for doing so and the process of paying the debt back will flow with more ease. It’s all you can do. You’re not a stupid person, you maybe made an unwise decision in the past, but who cares? Everybody has at some point. Your goal is to start working towards unraveling the situation. But focus on your problems and do not get overwhelmed with people around you that seem to be better off, they have their own problems. I mention this because despite you not stating this as one of your main problems for not moving forward, I know that it is. You are seeing the fruits of other lives around you, and it’s important to realize that everybody is in a different stage of their journey. But the main thing holding you back is that your mind is tangled up in past experiences of trying to pay it back and failing. Forget all that, start today and don’t look back. Apply for all the jobs you can, if it fails to start with, who cares, because it’s a step forward from what you were doing yesterday. As J. B. Peterson likes to state it, compare yourself to who you were yesterday and not to who somebody else is today.

ps - Also leaving home sounds like a bigger burden for you than your parents, because that means having to spend more money, and in the end, this will just turn out a bigger burden for your parents too. Start small and build. That’s what I done, and it will be strenuous and time consuming, starting is the hardest part though. Once you’re through that and you’re in your new job, you’re off to the races. You’ll be stunned at how much better things are and why you hadn’t done it sooner.