I am a very bad person .  .
Can i please talk to someone ? 
I want to pour my heart out. 

I had this gf who was beautiful,innocent and i loved her a lot(once i walked to her on foot to say hi,stood outside her office for to pick her up). And i fell in love with her in  first sight . But she had this male bffs(3-4 i know off)  who i had issue with (jealousy ofcourse) so i used to tell her to tell them about me but she never did tell them. And i had issue she being around them. We really enjoyed each others company though but she seemed too busy we talked on phone but hardly met(once we did not meet me for staright 3 months and everyday i was dying for her time). So i raised issues about concerning things but see seemed to cared but never did anything so we ended up fighting. I also had this problem that when i got annoyed i blocked her to let myself cool down. And when i cooled down i tried to make her understand what made me hurt. One day she ended up crying saying i have never like this for anyone before and i will marry you “you are the one” .She listened but it was the same thing. She didnt have time for me so i thought i am too demanding so i joined basketball class to keep myself  busy during evening which was my lonely feeling time. And i also told her the reason why i joined the basketball class but same whenever i requested to meet me she canceled or not made any efforts when i called her she would not pick up or say call you later and wont call back. But i never gave up on her cos of hope and love. 
Finally she came to dump me after an argument and i was explaining her that i felt bad about it . She dumped me saying i also used to block her over small issues and i dont love you anymore.
 

I just have one thing to say. YOU DESERVE BETTER. 

You should have never told her why you joined the basketball classes. She should not have known. After knowing all she could feel was pity for you. You must have gotten angry that even after knowing she isn't acting up, am I right.

Yeah i was … may be she felt pity .. but i thouhgt she is understanding and will atleast feel that this guy putting so much effort so she would do it too. 

I accepted that i blocked her intially but i tried to put in efforts to correct those mistakes! I blocked her because even after u trying to prove your point they give u excuses so i got frustrated of explaining myself and felt like blocking. But i realised that it may be too extreme so i try to explain her from calm situation hoping she will understand this time.

Compassion

I wouldn't mind if anyone just came to kill me at this point. I don't care about life anymore. I broke down and nothing will ever be fine.

PTSD

Anyone interested in a heartfelt conversation? About something that is holding up my life recently....

3am Thoughts

Gharwaalon ke wajah se lagta hai blood pressure ki dawai lena shuru karna hoga 

Anger Issues

***Trigger Warning***
Please stop stating sadness as depression and nervousness as anxiety. By no means I am saying your suffering is less than others but being sad is a normal mood swing and depression is a mental illness. When you're sad, you're able to make yourself feel better in a few minutes or maybe in a few hours or even in a day. But, the same is not true with depression, at times you lose the hope to feel better. You just don't want to exist anymore. Hell lot of times you feel suicidal. The reason why I am saying this is because people do tend to believe that you are just sad when you are actually depressed. They think what's so serious about it, they say even they get depressed but their willpower is stronger. That's the whole point maybe you never understood what depression is. And I truly wish no one goes through it.Even though, everyone says that learn to accept, don't get hard on yourself. Take your time, start therapy and indulge yourself in different activities and you'll overcome depression eventually.But the truth is, it sucks. Everyday you feel guilty of not doing anything. There are days you dont get up from your bed. You just stay in the dark, talking to no one. In that phase I have felt two emotions the most and they are sadness and anger. For no reason, I have cried for hours in my room. For the smallest stuff, I have yelled at my parents. If you are the one, who feels emotions strongly, then it is highly possible you'll end up feeling guilty more than ever.It's been nearly 3 years now, I have been dealing with depression. I get to point where I feel nothing. Even if I have an exam next day, I feel nothing. I don't even try to study, even if I do, I end up closing my books. And then punish myself for giving endless excuses. The point is I don't understand myself at times, I really want to. But I become the most confused soul during this phase. Someone with no hopes, no believes, no energy, no interest. Probably, someone who is numb to everything around and within her.You know what everything seems to heighten, mostly negative stuff. You attract negative things strongly more than ever, you tend to overthink, you start giving a lot more attention to what everyone thinks of you, you start feeling you are alone when you are actually not. There is something I realised yesterday, so it was the last day to complete my International Economics assignment, and I hadn't even started. So I asked a few friends of mine about it, and you know what, each of them was ready to help me, even when I didn't ask them to. But, it didn't make a difference because I wasn't ready to help myself. And I ended up not doing it. One more thing I have accepted lately is that this version of me is also me. For a long time, I have consoled myself saying that this is not me, I can't be this person. I was talking to my teacher lately, and she said why aren't you accepting that this is also you. Each one of us has a lot of parts of ourselves within us. Sometimes the parts we don't want to control us, do control us. And we hate it. But sooner we'll realise that this part of us is not someone else but ourselves, you are one step ahead in this journey already. At this moment, I feel guilty that I have ruined all my routines and everything. Here I am doing nothing for almost 3 months now. But, a part of me is there, which sometimes pop up to make me believe that it will all be better.Therefore, I accept that this phase sucks, but eventually I'll learn, learn a lot and will emerge as a better individual than ever before. We are here to learn and hope is the only thing that keeps us going in the moment of despair, even when we ourselves are hopeless.

Mental Health

Good Morning 😊Dear all of you
Have a great day..... ❤🤞

Caregiver

I wanna know Your Views on This. 

Money or Happiness ? 

Does this materialistic World Gives Us Happiness What Is Important. 

For Survival We Need Money But HAPPINESS is Also Important. 

Your Views 🙃

Life

Is it ok to not feel ok..?😅

Overthinking

If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts