Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

share your deepest feelings and emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

⚕️Depression

🧑Anxiety

😰Stress

💗Relationships

Create Thought

DepressionThought

If you or somebody you know is currently struggling, please take deep breaths and reach out to somebody. Here are few resources that may help.
👀
Anonymous

I am a 37 year old IT professional working as a project manager in a reputed IT company
I delivered twin babies a boy and a girl on Aug 2023 via C section.
I got married in 2017 and was leading a happy life with my husband even though we were having some small small fights due to misunderstandings then and there. We were having a tough journey from 2018 during the process of trying to conceive with so many infertility treatments and was on cloud nine when we finally achieved and got pregnant last Jan.
Three years from 2020 me, my husband and my MIL were staying in my top portion of my house in Chennai which is more like a separate house in first floor , a 1 BHK and ground floor which is 2 bhk where my parents stayed.
From fifth month of my pregnancy, I stayed in ground floor with my parents as the space in top floor was less and I also wanted to be with my mom to embrace her bonding and relish the food prepared by mom during my pregnancy period as any other woman would have preferred during pregnancy.
Problem slowly started to explode day by day as my hubby now started to come down often as I was staying downstairs and he felt that my parents aren’t respecting him much. He started to get food from his mom and bring it down for me to eat which my mom did not like much as she felt she want to give food for her daughter during this time. My MIL wanted to own me during this delivery period to take credit maybe, which my mom did not like.

Somehow even with fret and fumes things went on fine between both parties and post my delivery things were getting more worse during postpartum.
My mom was doing all work alone to prepare food for myself, my Dad and to take care of babies, etc., which delayed in breakfast and lunch timing. Night time my MIL comes down to take care of babies.
Within a month after my delivery my husband started to pinpoint my mom a lot that she is giving me food late which exploded as a huge argument between my mom and hubby. My mom shouted and got angry and asked my hubby and MIL to get out of the house due to which my hubby and MIL left to Coimbatore with tears immediately after packing all their stuff leaving me and babies as they did not have any other option. They called me as well to come out but I resisted as I could not take a stand for anyone at that point.

After he left to Coimbatore my husband is not like before as he daily started to nag me by sending hurtful messages and asking me to change the diapers and dress for my babies everyday three times and it was more like ordering a maid.
I asked him if we can stay separately in Chennai with kids but he resisted and said that he no longer have trust on me as I did not take a stand on him.
I am left depressed and devastated with whatever had happened and sought help from my family and friends and each one shared different opinions. I finally decided to move to Coimbatore with my kids to stay after two months of separation with my husband. Until now my husband is not as before. He stops me from showing my babies to my parents in video call and I feel there is too much control over me. He says I shouldn’t use mobile phone closer to the babies while he very well shows the bird to all his relatives via video call and happily enjoys the time with all his people around and cut down the ties with my side family which is more hurtful to me. I feel like separating from my hubby as I don’t want to be controlled and I feel this is getting toxic.

Should I get separated?

What should I do to regain the strained relationship with my hubby and my parents ?
My only wish in this whole life is for everyone to be together and my hubby to rekindle his relationship with my siblings and parents as currently he had blocked my parents number from his phone and exited out if our family group and have blocked my Dad and sister from Facebook as well.
I am in deepest pain as I am struck between the two and don’t know what to do, I am clueless and my energy is drained both physically and mentally.
In between all this chaos I have to take care of my new born babies by feeding them as well while my mental health is heavily affected which is making me difficult to cope up with my life.
I know both my aging parents as well as my hubby are good kind hearted and loving people but could not convince either of them as they created a separate image about each other in their own views as they decided everything just by the last worst chapter that happened instead of focusing on how they were in the past. I am not able to express my pain in writing, hope you understand my situation here.
Please suggest me what can I do as I badly want my family to be reunited.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @anujvohra
🏭
🏰
💒
🗼
👀
28 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @anujvohra

anuj @anujvohra

That’s a very tough situation you are in. It will be good if you stay with your husband at this point of time. It will take some time as your husband have been offended by your mother’s behaviour. If someone takes this personally, it could take a lot of time. Just be with them and carry on your life along with babies and husband…few things in life cant be solved immediately, as they say time could be a big healer. Take care of your mental health.

👀
Anonymous

Thanks for your valuable suggestion

🏭
Anonymous

You cannot make everyone your parents and mil lived their own life .
I advice you to take your husband side and live with him only no one else neither your parents or his and I feel like your husband will listen to you and he will stop taunting but you need to give him assurance that you will choose him now
It’s my opinion I want my wife to choose me over everything then I’ll listen to her every selfish demand and I’m not asking you to abondon your parents you can meet them weekly or something but you should spend more time managing your marriage life instead of pleasing your parents or his .

🏭
Anonymous

You cannot make everyone happy or unite*

🏭
Anonymous

Too much mingling from relatives create these kinds of issues

👀
Anonymous

Agree

👀
Anonymous

Thanks for valuable suggestions

Violates community guidelines
This thought has been deleted by the thought author
This thought has been deleted by the thought author
👀
Anonymous

Understand that communication is e key here but my hubby is no longer interested to discuss about the incident
That is where my problem lies

👀
Anonymous

Thanks for your valuable advice

This thought has been deleted by the thought author
This thought has been deleted by the thought author
This thought has been deleted by the thought author
This thought has been deleted by the thought author
🏰
Anonymous

Tell me one thing, do you have the freedom to talk to your parents

👀
Anonymous

Yes definitely

🏰
Anonymous

I will suggest you one thing, live for your kids

👀
Anonymous

Sure

💒
Anonymous

Or maybe talk to a relationship counselor if you can’t seem to fix it by yourself.

👀
Anonymous

Sure

🗼
Anonymous

I don’t think getting separated is a good idea right now. Because…we should consider the child too right …try talk with him how you rly feels and all that stuff slowly talk to your mom and try to reconnect the relationship between her and your husband. But…if the situation is till toxic, you should consider separation🙃

👀
Anonymous

Thanks for sharing your thoughts

🗼
Anonymous

Would you like to connect?

This thought has been deleted by the thought author
This thought has been deleted by the thought author
🗼
Anonymous

Okayy I’ll send you req

user_group_img

8384 users have benefited
from FREE CHAT last month

Start Free Chat
start_free_chat_cta_image

Need Help? Call Us