I am 18 years old, passed my 12th boards this year itself. It was a sudden decision to drop this year as i failed to get chance in art college, so its was decided next year i ll try again or study something else. Next session i ll apply again. I belong from a broken family. Never seen my biological father but mom got engaged with 2 men already (later still engaged). I was 16 when the my first step father got divorced and 2nd came in the scene within weeks. Suddenly one day after school i found out it was decided that he was moving in with us and nobody bothered to tell me. My choice never matters. Initially things were lighter, i tried copping up, but then all destroyed again. Mom never heard me. After my 10th board i decided to move out… But didn’t last long, i was brought back n things again got worst. Now i have live under the same roof with mom and her partner when we don’t talk or like to see each other. I am cursed/blamed for being born.
While i was dealing with this, i came across a guys who became my friend n later boyfriend. We were good for almost 3years. We were in same class. After 12th boards he moved out of the city but i had a sudden plan to stay. For 2 months after he was gone, he convinced me that we are going to stay… Its just the matter of few months then we ll be together. 1 week later that… Suddenly he drops a fact that he does feels for me anymore. I tried to communicate and talk… But it went into vent. One day he wants to work on the relationship then other day it was nothing to him. He wants a break up but won’t stop contacting me. I’m not able to handle these. He can’t even make up him mind to one thing and expects me not to get hurt. How’s that even possible, am i not supposed to get upset when says he doesn’t feel for me. According to him, me crying after hearing that was very unusual for him. Point is now i don’t even know whether he is there or not. And for me this boyfriend issue triggered all my other insecurities and fears from my past. Now I’m struggling with every damn thing in my life… My mental state got shaken up… I seriously want to feel good but all i get is loneliness
Hey. Please don’t be at the disposal of this boy. He thinks that you will always be there whenever he needs you or when he comes back to you. Do not let him treat you like that option. It’s not worth it my friend. You deserve so much more than this un-clarity.
I feel sorry for whatever you come across at this early age… But don’t you feel all your problems really made you strong. Yes dear you’r one of the strongest girl. Make sure ‘you’ really need this relationship. A relationship should give you secured feel not fear. You have long way to go and do many good things… Take decision what you really want… What will make…you feel better and go for it… Don’t ever struck in a place and spoil your mental strength. All the best