Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Hi,
I am socially awkward, possessive, over thinker and what not.
I was talking to this girl whom I met in fb. I have trust issues as well, so even a little change in her behaviour, I overthink it and make it worse. I had not been to dates as m very insecure the way I look, with big nose, acne scar all over my face. However, I summed up all the courage that I can with positive thought and went to meet her. When I met her, I was socially awkward, I barly spoke. She always says that m too boring, but I cant find words to speak. So I sat there dumb, it was horrible. She had brought her friend with her, so it made a little awkward as they did all the speaking with themselves. Atleast there was no silence. But I did not play my part. I departed with them with guilt and dissatisfaction. Though I am happy I actually gone there on a date after all these years.
From that day, I feel she is ignoring me. It is not the same as before we met. Now we hardly talk.
I liked her but not able to impress her.
Well now m planning to ask her what she wanna do. If she wants to continue, which I dont think is the case, but I wish, m happy.
I want to end these insecurities, low confidence and all and be able to act like a man, speak out my mind.
Currently these words describes me : insecure about looks, low self esteem, possessive, over thinker, boring, ugly, depressed, anxious, socially awkward, numb, and what not.
I want to chage to: confident, happy, social, charming, good with talking, self loving, active, interesting, humorous, etc.
I willl love to talk about these things and how to change for better.