Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Hey! I am a 22 year old woman. I have a perfect life, a good and supportive family, great friends and a wonderful boyfriend. It’s just that i am not happy and i feel like i dont know who i am, what i have become or where i am going. I have these many people but still i cant share to them what i feel, its cause I don’t want to, its cause even i dont know why i feel this way. I have had certain traumatized experiences from the past, that changed me, i got so anxious that it gets hard for me to get out of my home, i got so many fears about relationships that i always anticipate worst possible scenarios so that i could just be prepared dor anything bad that is coming. Its just i dont know when this started and when i became like this, i am not suicidal per se (i have been in the past) but i have no hopes on this life either. Its just no matter how much i try , it gets harder, and bigger. I have been practicing yoga and meditation since an year or two , but i dont think so it is helping me cope with anxiety and fears, or maybe that i am not able to do it properly. I have been searching for reasons and solutions, my mood swings are so high that it disturbs my day to day life. Please help me!