Hello. So here’s my story.
I met a boy about 13 years ago. We went to university together but our friendship didn’t really become close until a few years later. It was then when I started to develop very strong romantic feelings towards him. He claimed to be bisexual, though spent most of his time chatting up guys on Tinder and sleeping with many of them. He assured me he could feel sexual and romantic attraction towards women, though he was never seen with one.
On January 2019 I told him I loved him and he said it couldn’t be without any other explanation. He ambiguously rejected my without telling me why. He somehow stated we were on different phases and the relationship wouldn’t work out. Nonetheless, he kept on meeting men and showing romantic and sexual interests as far as them implied.
I never gave up on this unrequited love. But now, for the very first time in his life, this friend of mine has an official boyfriend, his very first ever boyfriend. And I’ve been left out as the ONLY person in my social circle who not only lacks a romantic partner, but also never has had a beautiful love story herself. I’m almost 31.
We stopped talking for about two weeks because I needed time. Nonetheless, after those two weeks he kept acting cold, alternating warmth and indiference. He then stopped liking my posts on Facebook or Instagram (which he used to do on a daily basis) nor sending me funny pics and stuff (things that were very common when it came to our friendship). When I asked why, he said I was too unstable and moody and that I needed therapy more than ever. He started saying he was no therapist for me to talk to and that I should seek professional help. Once I pointed out I felt punished by him, he went mad and stopped answering my texts. I kept texting and had an anxiety attack and told him, but he kept ignoring me. I pleaded him not to block me - he does so sometimes, for his mental health’s sake when he feels overwhelmed by me - and he didn’t do so last night, but he still kept ignoring me.
I don’t know what to do. I believe it’s all my fault. Whenever I talk to him I feel negative and lonely and jealous of his boyfriend and I think this justifies his lack of interest in our friendship and him giving me the silent treatment. I do believe he’s right and I only turn to him for help whenever I feel down. And I feel he’s right as well with him not being my therapist and me having to prove my strength to him in order to regain his respect.
His boyfriend keeps telling me I’m too intense for him and that I give him anxiety. I believe he’s drifting away from me and there’s nothing I can do to save this friendship.
May be give him a break and see,let him decide what he wanna do as if me never force is never chase anyone, you just tell them how you feel and see how they react.
Hey there kind human, listen take a deep breath. You are not wrong to like someone okay. But the thing is he doesn’t like you. That’s okay I don’t know how much it hurts and how bad you feel on a daily basis. We are human and it’s okay to want love. But it’s not at all fine to go selfless for that love. See the first thing which you have to do is apologize to yourself. That you went all out on yourself for some love. Find it in yourself, find it in your heart. When you love yourself take care of yourself you don’t crave anything else. Then find someone who is going to love you and if not then that doesn’t matter because there billions of people who are going to love you for the way you are and honey, you don’t have ask and cry for true love it finds you on its own.
