Have you ever felt so much hatred towards your dad that you wanted to seize his existence or like him to vanish (possibly the nicest way I can put it out there) I hate him.. I do. It’s just killing me inside that I’m never able to say this to his effin face. My body hurts with all this hatred. 

Ikrrr but I honestly feel like he should disappear and let my mom and me live in peace 

Family

TL;DR: I cried. Life is shit and so is my dad. Ok

I hate this so fuckin much. I feel like I’m getting nowhere with my parents. It’s such a love/hate relationship, but for them, this is just love. My dad has a bad habit of smoking. It’s not really bad, more like a once in a while thing. But what bothers me the most is that he doesn’t listen to me. I’m trying to tell him what’s best for him, but he chooses to ignore it, and instead get upset with me. Today, I was looking for swim thing, and instead I found a pack of cigarettes. He started hiding them in places where it would be harder to find, and I was bothered by the fact that he was hiding a pack of cigs in such places. He was hiding packs like that because when I was younger, I would find his packs and hide them. So I put it in a drawer, thinking that I’d throw it out later. He ended up finding them, and making excuses, so then I told him how I found them and such. I then proceeded to break them in half in front of his eyes, and threw them into the sink and turned on the tap. I know this will not change anything, but at least I got rid of a pack. I went to my room, and just sat on my bed, crying a bit louder and longer than I usually did. I started coughing a lot as well, and considered vomiting. But I didn’t. Now I’m just trying to eat my cup noodles. I have school tomorrow but I don’t know if I want to go or not. I probably will. I hate crying but I love crying. I’m going to start crying again, but I’m tired. Goodnight. 

So I'm thinking of running away from my mom's house and going to live with my dad. I see him every two weeks, so it's not like we don't keep in touch. My mom let's me stay with him, cause they have joint custody. But right now, things are getting too bad at my moms. We're having the drama at my dad's house, but things are getting just as bad at my mom's. I got into a fight with my step dad. He asked me why I "look like that", talking about my sad and empty expression. And I looked at them with confusion, asking how they didn't notice I've been this way for 2 weeks. And they said they noticed. So my step dad said, "if you want to compete with pain-" and I cut him off with, "I never said I was trying to compete." I kind of snapped at him. The thing is... He has heart failure. So he's in physical pain all the time. Where as I have emotional pain. That and he's a prick, so of course he would say that. He always brings up how he had it harder (meaning the depression) than I ever will. And I finally reached my limit tonight. Well, he went into their room and slammed their door like a teenager. My mom got mad at me and started yelling at me about my grades and missing assignments. Now I'm thinking I should leave. Not just because she's always nagging me about school, but because situations here aren't helping my mental health. I know it'll hurt her and she'll probably lock me in my room again to prevent me from leaving, but I'm 16 now and I think I have a say with what I want to do. Where I want to be. I just feel completely and utterly hopeless. Like there's no longer an escape from everything. I used to have hope that I'd move away when I get older and live a better, adventurous life. But that perspective changed completely. Now I can't see myself making it to graduation. It's like suddenly all visions of my future went black.

Depression

I dont know But sometimes I feel do i deserve this. Maybe Yes. I dont know what Wrong i Have Done. I Am jusy sick of my father. He is a person who is an Impressive person In the outer world ( work place, friends etc ) however at home Being His child he dosent see my worth he always put me down. Whenever you go and ask Him something or wanna talk And for the small silly mistakes which i make He always Shouts at me. I mean I have literally started hating him. And i dont know Because of him i doubt Myself 😑💔

Parenting

Hi guys, an Indian girl here. I really needed a place to vent and pour my heart out in a forum that is non-judgemental. 

I have never seen my parents happy with each other. Always bickering, fighting, and name-calling and there have been rampant instances of physical abuse on my mother by my dad over the past 30 years. 

My mother comes from an extremely well-off family, is well-educated, an independent woman, and worked at a bank. My father hails from a not-that-well-to-do family, is well-educated, and worked in a senior position at a manufacturing firm. He is a narcissist, an egocentric individual who is slightly sexist too. The kind of person who blames other people for his failures and problems. It is taking me a lot of courage to speak up but my father has been so violent with my mother during their early years of marriage that one day he accidentally broke my mom's nose. He has beaten her up very badly that it gave her bruises all over her back, hand, and legs. My mother has often left home in the middle of the night and we took shelter in public places: sometimes in a temple, sometimes at a bus stop and my father could be least bothered about it. He had filed a divorce case once and we started living separately. I was 7 years old back then. I am talking about early 1999. Indian society has always been condescending to single women and I am talking about a time when it was not very common in India for middle-class women to leave their husband's homes and live on their own. We have faced backlash, and humiliation wherever we went. My mother has tried to shield me the best she could but society is always cruel. 

When I see the people I have known living happier lives, living their dreams, I can't help but get jealous and lament about the life I have never had. A traumatic childhood, unloving grandparents, being considered a burden, I have seen it all. I have been affected by the mental trauma inflicted by my father which has molded us for the worst. I have been in severe depression for the past several years, have no social life, no friends, never been in a relationship. My past demons are so dominant that it has affected me in ways I cannot imagine.

This is not a cry for help. I just want to get out of my past and live a better life.

I really want to repair my relationship with my dad. It's fucked up. We don't like to see each other i guess. Everytime we are in this same room, we argue with each other over the silliest topics. He's always trying to be dominant. Actually he has got very impressive communication skills. He can inufluence anyone!
During my early teenage, i did so many misktakes(like most of chdrn do), he used to catch me up and Idk why but i started hating him since then, or i can say I just lost the connection. All that comes to my mind is he himself has done all such things. He was still into these things a few months back. I was so young that tym, I came to know about the girl he was hvng an affair with. I still don't know the whole story. I just heard his big brother telling my mom about it. I never got an answer i could have believed. Since last 7 years, he is into gambling. He stopped this just 2 months back, when he found himself in a debt of 3lakhs. H doesn't comtribute much to the family financially. Though he is hard working  he doesn't get the things in a way. He's clever! He never ever lets his ego down. Even if he's wrong, he has the power to dominate! I hate that! I don't like my mom being dominated by a man who has lost his worth in our eyes. Bacho ko samblane ki umr m vo khud distarct ho rhe h. How can he expect us to do all the things in a way he wants? He has not done much for us. It's my mother who's working, feeding us all. Why do woman choose to stay in such relationships? She deserves better, much better than she's actually getting. Those teenage things might have hurt him. But talking to guys at during my growth years, was it really wrong? He over reacted all the times. He made me feel like yesss, he had the authority over me. Everyone has the right to have prsnl space! He kept on interrupting in it, always! I too taunt him for being like this, like you have never done things for us, you are livinv your life, you are this and that, i do speak it, something in me makes me speak all this. When he tries to dominate, i remember all things he did! He made us feel insulted in front of the entire family because of his habit of gambling. Now he plays ludo wth girls of my age and has tld my mom that they are his sisters(he met them online). So that means even i can be someone's sister and do all the things i want to. But nooo, then he'll stand to judge me! How can it work? 
During pamdemic, he is serving as an ambulance driver too, 500 per day! We were against it, family m ppl were ill, we didn't want to risk it, pr he didn't listen to any of us.One day when he returened back, he added into our conversation that i don't want to hear it from you and your mother i don't do anything for you. We both stayed quiet then. Next week, he kept 7000rs in the kitchen, handing over to mom. I didn't want her to take. We kept in my dad's bag in which he is collecting money so as to pay those 3lakhs. He knows it. He's still serving as a driver, he's still trying to dominate us. Lemme mention that he is the owner of few hectares of land(kille), he doesn't use it. He believes in saving for me and brother, securing our future. When will the tym come for future? If in present, we are suriving like this, how can we expect our future to be safe? Aren't we all meant to live in the present? For a random argument again, we aren't talking. How can i mend it all? Is it even in my hands? Even i m frustated. I want to polish it all, but idk how!

i have so mixed feelings right now and i just wanna write it down
my mom and dad had a fight and the fight ended up being bigger than i imagined
my dad wasnt talking to my mom for almost a week when she did something
she slit her wrist and when i saw it i got so scared like what am i supposed to do im just 16
they were fighting when i saw it and i tried calming my dad cause he was angry
i have an older sister and she wasnt home when this happened and i called her to come home asap 
my dad wants to leave the house and go somewhere else to live, an old house of mine 
me and my sister cried and tried convincing my dad to stay
he said he'll stay on one condition which is he wont talk to my mom 
and its been like 2 weeks to their first fight now and one week to that incident and that has taken a toll on me
ive been crying to sleep for 2 weeks now and it tbh it feels longer than 2 weeks
what am i supposed to do? because i feel like i cant talk to any of my friends about it 

Hi, I’m 38 years old and have a daughter of 5. She told me her father molests her, but only me. Her father applied and got custody, nobody wanted to listen. I see her every two weeks and he doesn’t let me call, she is a dead shell after four months of hell 

Child Abuse

My dad won't stop abusing me he screamed at me for nothing but resting my head at the couch hand in the morning because my head was aching he said things like go die and stuff just and just because I rested my head and he doesn't like it what did I do wrong he threatens to take My phone away just because I'm not able to answer sometimes what have I done why do they abuse me like this I wanna be happy I wanna live a normal life 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts