Do I deserve to make a friend 🙃 idk bcoz people make me feel like I don't 

Aditya Sahu 

You can make friends what's stopping you 

3am Thoughts

**I HAVE NO FRIENDS, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY PERSONALITY THAT PEOPLE DON'T STICK WITH ME.  AT THIS POINT I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO MAKE FRIENDS😫😣. NOBODY WISHES ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY WHATSAPP IS DESERTED, I HAVE ONLY 2 FRIENDS THAT ONLY MESSAGE ME WHEN THEY NEED SOMETHING FROM ME. I AM STUCK AT HOME WITH NO ONE TO TALK TO ME AND THIS IS EATING ME FROM INSIDE**

Friends

What do I do? I’ve had this group of friends, but I met them through my roommate. My roommate and I aren’t on good terms anymore. The friends say that we’re still cool but I can’t help but feel like I just don’t rlly “fit in” with them anymore. Idk what to do. 

Relationships

Feeling really sad and helpless rn. My best friend, one friend in so many years who felt real, who i could be free with , i loved being with them, and unknowingly i had made them my safe place. Compared to last 4 years, they are acting very differently now in these past few weeks. Maybe or maybe not they've done things that upset me, and being upset on top of being an overthinker is tiring. The change was too sudden in them, and i feel like I've already lost them. Their way of talking, behaving around me, i feel like I'm getting toyed around, I might be oberracting. But it feels even more lonely, even more sadness now. We've both been struggling with a lot of issues and problems together these years, now it just feels like I'm left alone in the void, to fend all by myself. There isn't the comfort of a cushion i had earlier. This is crazy, idk what to do  

Feeling stressed with this semester. Used to have a lot of energy when I first started but I've given up now. I hate my groupmate because he's my ex-friend's boyfriend. His presence infuriates me. Why the hell does he need to be in the same group in me? There are other groups for him to sign himself up. Heck, he could even be in the same group as his girlfriend. I can't act like how I wanted to because I feel like he's watching my interaction and he reminds me of my ex-friend. 

Later year, I was into two actors who were good friends. I knew them from my friends who explained to me about what actor A had suffered from and how actor B was helping him. It was my source of happiness after coming home from my stress job. I feel happy to see how actor B was taking care actor A and how their friendship was like brotherhood. They were very close that I'm glad to see it. I was so into their friendship that I thought they will stay friends forever.

Well, liking actors is not a good thing anyway. It made me obsessed with them. I was always waiting for them. I wanted to see them more together. I thrived for their interactions. And I fought with people who claimed actor B is not a good man because I liked him. 

It was until they had wrapped up the filming that actor B suddenly becomes cold. At first, I was thinking if this happened because of covid. There are less interactions and lots of effort from actor A to tell the fans they are good. But later on, I realized actor B actually did the same things actor A had suffered to actor A again. 

It was very devastating. I ended up pushing everything away. I didn't want to see actors. Deep into my head, I knew this happened because I was disappointed with myself to believe things that people showed on the surface. It made me stopped watching series for years until my friend suggested me to watch a new series.

Now, I have another source of happiness. I am happy with the series I'm watching and I'm avoiding knowing the actors. I am scared if thing is going to be the same as before. I know this series has different actors but sometimes it makes me feel anxious to watch the series. I am afraid that I will end up with the same remorse I felt about the previous actors.

It doesn't make sense to me why I'm feeling like this just for actors. But somehow I don't believe with people and I'm avoiding people at all cost unless they are my family.

I never had friends. I have class fellows, colleagues, neighbor etc with them I show courtesy. All of my life I considered them my best frnds. Just realized it.  

Why do friends leave when you open up to them? Do people really expect their friends to be all goofy and fun 24/7? 

I have some friends but they are superficial, like they can be with you but the deeper bond is missing. Never had such bond with anyone. I'm good at academics, unfortunately people don't like to be friends with me. They want cool ,popular people to hangout with. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts