Distance is my new response. I don't return energy. I remove myself.

Life

Is there anyone else feeling low on energy today ?

End is the Beginning, Beginning is the end.

Love

I am feeling so restless these days I don't know why actually I came back from trip day before yesterday and there I was so happy cause I got much time to spend in silence but here again so much noise all around and not able to adjust can anybody suggest me something 

3am Thoughts

I feel unbelievably alone. No matter how hard I try no one new wants to join my life. No one likes me or understands me. I’m introverted and isolated with no one to talk to. Don’t have a therapist anymore. Social anxiety and depression. Very severe Harm OCD and I just don’t know what to do. I developed a self harm addiction. I have an eating disorder. I just want one good person in my life who fully understands and accepts me and my decisions. Why am I so lonely. Why am I so numb. 

Depression

I went to bed early, 9-930, its now 2 and i cant sleep, my mind is racing, im having an anxiety attack. I feel overwhelmed. Life is crumbling, and i dont feel in control. My mom has cancer, im still not working, my relationship feels dry and detached. I dont feel like anyforward progress is being made, like im treading water. Ive lost motivation, my drive is gone, i dont have a sense of direction. Where do i go, where do i start to fix how im feeling, how do i understand how im feeling. Whats wrong with my head, it thinks, but no words come out, it peaks, then spirals and tumbles. What are these highs and lows, where the consistency, why cant i feel okay with how things are, and not that something always needs to be done. How do i get my peace back, im so lost, overwhelmed, and feel out of control. My chest feels empty, but i feel the void, i can feel the empy space, the nausea inducing emptiness. The shakes, why the shakes, if its not enough that im internally crumbling, i have to put it on display for everyone, with no way to control it. The highs keep feeling lower, and the lows are getting dangerously close to bedrock. I cant organize my thoughts, or explain the individual things bothering me, i want to run, i want to cry, i want to put my head through the wall, i want peace from this. Im sad, i feel alone, i feel lost. Whats my purpose, why do i feel when i shouldnt and dont feel when i should. I want to go do something but feel stuck, i feel deep rooted in my head with no escape. And when i feel like i want to talk to someone i cant, why burden others with this, they deserve happiness, i just want to make them laugh, because their joy is the only time i feel happy. And when i lose that i lose my happiness. Anxiety go away, let me live my life, ive been healing from this too long, let me be fixed. Why.

Me struggling to tell how I feel because every time I do they made it seems like Im crazy and too sensitive... 

Lately i am feeling nothing, it feels like life is not going anywhere ,it seems to be stuck

Confusion

My husbands OCD is killing me aghhhh 😡😩

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