Covid has stressed and enforced social distacing and keeping away from otheres…but I was lonely before covid…and I feel like it’s prolonging this issue…before covid I felt like I was distant from others…evenmoreso had been fired from a job of 5 years, and quit another job after a few months …Im not wild about my “field” either…in education …previously child care…as im not an outwardly-bubbly person and more introverted…and always wanted to do something more creative…my problem is I still find it extremely had to keep engaged with people…I feel like I have a huge disconnect…most-likely stemming from a past mixed with abuse…friends were always hard to come by for me…ive always refrained from telling people about myself…im 26 now …have much anxiety…Ive tried about all I can do for it…therapy…getting out of my comfort zone…I try to envision a better future but dont know how to reach it…anxiety and depression always takes over…and a new and worsening phenomenon of jealousy and anger is hitting me in waves…anger at the past and people responsible for my circumstances…angry at myself for letting them happen…jealous because i deel i should be more…but feeling worthless for what i am and where i am now…most people ive seen are desperate for covid to cease…yes this is good for death and despair to end…but after all is said and done they have lives to return to…i dont even know what mine looks like in a years time…or hecc …even a month or a day…im so tired of negativity…but i dont know how to fight it anymore…
I know what you mean when you said you refrain from telling people about yourself. I know it’s probably not the answer you’re looking for but I think that starting small is a good idea. Think about the reasons why you got into education in the first place and try to find out if those reasons are still the same. If the reasons why you chose it in the first place are what you don’t enjoy than you can look for other career options. You may be perfectly qualified for other jobs that you could potentially enjoy quite a bit. There is this really big stigma about switching careers throughout your life. But the truth isn’t there is nothing wrong with wanting to find happiness.
Thank you for your response. I agree it can be; it’s moreso that that’s what available around me, and am afraid and was to put myself out there for what I really want…and now I fear it just might be too late for me…with younger more talented ppl in the field. Being small just is not enough for my field choice…so I feel lost…but evenso…I appreciate your reading and commenting…hope that your situation doesn’t feel as complicated as I make my out to be.
I read somewhere that after covid more people would experience loneliness. As I read your post I cannot help but feel so identified with how you’re feeling. I’m an only child and as a result, I’ve been pressuring myself since I was very young to achieve my parent’s high expectations. I’ve been neglecting any sentimental relationship in order to focus on my studies. Some days it felt like a reasonable thing to do, but when I saw how happy my friends were with their partners I could not help but feel lonely. I’m 21 years old, currently studying to become a lawyer (like my parents), I enjoy my career, but since covid they are pretty much the only two people I have interactions with and that makes me feel like I’m going to end up with a degree but all alone.
Is that what you want to do? Well, if so then it pays well im guessing…social life can be worked on…that’s good to be in a good place career-wise so young…im still not sure where I want to be at 26… and definitely not in the same boat with that…I have 4 siblings…and not so great a relationship with parents …so traversing this world has definitely been rough and lonesome…not to be negative…but what im saying is you have some leeway and time to make friends and stuff…seems like some of ya have all the luck…
