Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Yrrrr i m feeling so bad… i just don’t want to do that don’t want to go in this anxiety phase… please help me😢😢
i had met a guy through matrimonial site and fall for him in just a single conversation. Let’s call him T. Because of some reason my parents decline for the marriage proposal but the T was really sweet. He was ready to do everything to be with me. I fought alot with my family, not getting married with him was my biggest Helplessness. While fighting for him i goan through a biggest anxiety phase. I was never able to let him go and he was also trying so hard. In such short span of time we were so close to each other emotionally. After some time because of lot of emotional pressure from family i stopped talking with T and said him to forget me. After some days i met a guy through family and they fixed my marriage, let him call S. Some how i prepare myself to be with S. He was not the person i want but i did so much emotional investment in him and tried to be his to be wife whole heartedly.but in a meanwhile in my heart T was the best person. But i manage to convince myself for S. But he was not the right person so he broke the fixed marriage on a silly fight. This thing brok me fully.
Now everything thing is just going really well. I met a guy, let call him AA, i got engaged. Such a wonderful man he is fully mature, emotionally stable, hardworking, loving neture, giving me full freedom and everything. I am very happy with him. I was not ready emotionally for this and feeling that i m not able to give him all love and attention he deserve , which i had given to the previous guys. But slowly i was pushing myself towards him as he is such a sweetheart.
But yesterday i saw something because of that i m feeling very very bad.
On a instgram i saw T is getting married, whatever the things he was saying for me he is saying for that girl. he got married with the girl yesterday night.
I know feeling bad is wrong, T is happy and i should be happy seeing him happy. But why is this happening with me. What about AA, yrrrr i can’t do this with him. I m the kind of loyal person who don’t even want any other guy interruption even in my thoughts when i m with someone. But even trying so hard to not think i m thinking about T and like i could be at the place of that other girl.
What to do?
Please help.
I m getting back in my baddest anxiety phase