You're my favorite Potti...
My favorite pair of eyes to look into. My favorite name to appear on my phone. My favorite person to spend time with. You're my favorite.

Bhai ko pyar hogya hai.... Konsa wala hua hai bhai ji... Long distance ya fir pass ki hi hai ladki   

3am Thoughts

Feeling low right....want to talk to someone....dm to have a talk

Feeling useless. I feel like I’ve failed in every aspect of my life. I don’t know where to go on from here. Also my anxiety and inferiority complex is making me worse. I stress on small things too much. I don’t feel like talking to anyone. I’m not sure if I show signs of depression, I don’t wanna know. Lot of mixed emotions while I’m writing this. 

Anxiety

Kuch logon ko remote chalane ka sahoor nhi hota

I never thought it would be me. I am the type to always be smiling and trying to lighten up people’s day, but this is too much. My small heart shouldn’t have to suffer this much. 17 years of life and I simply can’t do it. Ever since I remember not a single day had gone where my mom hasn’t body shamed me, except when she went overseas. Every day she would tell me that I will never find a husband, tell me to stopping eat something when I’m just trying to enjoy it, which makes me feel super sad. Today she told me to go get laser for my stretch marks because I was talking about my passion for skincare, saying my facing doesn’t matter when your body is ugly. It’s heartbreaking when I’m told to wear more covering clothes compared to my sister. Every passion gets turned down, and I feel like I can’t be myself. I feel trapped. I have tried talking and defending myself, which is only seen as ‘talking back’. All the time she compares me to herself when she was younger saying she was super skinny. I want to lose weight and I have my own goals but she always puts me down. She always says she only looking out for me, but why do I feel like not existing because of her. I don’t have any money to become independent and I’m only 17. And my mom wants to move back to my country which means ill only lose more freedoms and hope. I honestly don’t want to live anymore, because I lost all self-love and believe that I’m worthless. I’m so jealous of people who have supportive mothers. If I do end up leaving one day, I want to tell my mom that I’m sorry for not being enough. I also want to thank those people who lit up my heart and gave me endless love and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I don’t belong. 

Suicidal Ideation

When we put ourselves in the center,it results in conflicts as everyone has a different center

why do I exist

Let's just connect and introduce ourselves. You might find me funny and i might find you fun to be with.let's text each other 24x7, call and listen to random gossips, be there for each other till one of us feels special. After few weeks maybe I'll come to know that i wasn't really that special, you had more special people than me in your life. then let's just get emotionally distant from each other . The texts might take longer to respond or my jokes won't sound as funny as they once did or i might think you aren't that lively as i thought you were. Then let's just stop talking and forget that the other person ever existed. Are you up for it?

My girlfrnds sister wedding was this last month, she have been busy allot for more than a month...she havent talked to me for days and havent met me....i was waiting for today since forever, bcoz today all the relatives will go back home and my girl would be mine again...but now she is saying that she is going to her native place with her relatives too....its trivial ik, but i feel broken yaar.....mene bohot patiently wait kiya, aur vo busy thi to kuch pareshan nahi kiya call msg krke, jab vo aai baat krne tb pyaar se usko smbhala aur pucha......i dont know what do i do now, me nahi chahta ki mere vahah se vo ruke yaha but atleast uska to mann hona chahiye na mere saath acche se interact krne ka itne dino baad, apne village me jaake to aur bhi durr hojaegi..

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts