"Your anxiety and overthinking is a trauma response to the fact that nobody truly protected you when you were younger, but you always did the best you could to shield yourself from-toxic people and experiences"

I know someone needed to hear that.

Diya

I think I'm failing in protecting myself 

Anxiety

Mood swings😑

Mood Disorder

Today, while skipping rope, I noticed that the more I focused on trying to control my movements, the harder it became to perform the exercise. Yet, when I let go of that effort and allowed my body to move naturally, everything fell into place effortlessly. This experience reminded me of a valuable life lesson: often, the harder we try to control situations, the more intense and complicated they become. By embracing a more relaxed and open approach, we can find our way through challenges with greater ease and clarity.

Life

Cutting yourself is the new addiction.
It doesnt help it just helps you realize no matter what he wont find out because honestly does he really know you or is he just ignoring your screams for help to avoid what youve been softly trying to tell him about its not soft to you tho but last time you told him about how you were feeling your off the bat selfish and inconsiderate of his feelings. when you cry to him letting him know your hurting all of a sudden hes hurting but tell me this is he crying all day about it? Is he hurting himself about it? Is he wanting to take his own life about it? Is he willing to sacrafice his feelings for peace? Is he willing to even let me know how hes feeling? Or mabey hes just not feeling anymore mabey hes just hurting at the fact he doesnt have his ppl right there to take his back for him hes had a shoulder to cry on his whole life but know hes out the nest all of a sudden that shoulder is gone when ive been trying to give him an unessasary shoulder this whole time when really i was the one who needed the shoulder i never even felt a shoulder to cry on before its always 4 walls a toilet and a blade to comfort me not by choice its just the norm for me its what ive learned will always be there for me people will not give a fuck about your true feelings its only temporary to fill in the negative moment between you both then but when you back to just you then what? The 4 walls a toilet and a blade looks real comforting then even when you told yourself never again look at you not even a year later not even close to half kill yourself nobody deserves you not even your self stays on replay for only me to hear like a song you dont remember the ending to.

Addiction

Anyone appearing for CA Final? My anxiety is at its peak!

Exam

I just want to be loved by a woman.
I’m so tired of not having a partner when I’ve wanted one for so long. I just wanna love someone and be loved back, send her love songs, paint her, and play with her hair until she falls asleep on my chest.

Lonely

I did a simulation for my pre-trial thesis today with my lecturer and my friends. Then when it was my turn to be evaluated, the lecturer asked a question that I can't answer because I didn't put it on my research. I didn't know the answer since it wasn't my main focus and I thought that I didn't need to know since my lecturer approved my paper before the pre-trial simulation. but when he suddenly asked the question, he doesn't want to hear that I didn't know the answer and keep pushing me down with his questions. 
I didn't know how to dealing with that since this is my first time doing the pre-trial thesis, I was stressed and shocked like how can I miss something in my research?  I'm always come to class to check the paper with my lecturer AND HE APPROVED MY PAPER.

I am confused and scared what will happen when I have to face the real pre-trial thesis on Wednesday? I don't want to fail. I put a lot of efforts on this thesis. I cried a lot after class today. I feel tired but I'm too afraid to sleep, I want to have fun but it feels like a sin. I can't do anything for my research now until I face the real pre-trial on Wednesday. I'll do the additional research after it because I have to do some interviews to get the data that I need. 

It's just that I feel life is giving me another surprise for me and I fall to it again. I thought I won't cry because of these small things. but I feel like I've become a cry baby. I can't hold back my tears anymore.  I hate to show my tears to everyone, so I hold it until the class is over. then I have to hold it again so my sister doesn't see it. I have to bite my hands and punch the wall to hold back my tears.

The ironic thing is when my lecturer asked me, "how are you? are you healthy today?" 
I said, "yes I'm fine and well."
but the reality is I don't feel well at all, I finished my period 2 weeks ago and a few days ago, the blood suddenly came out again. I know it's abnormal and I might be sick. a lot of stuff happening in one month and I'm not ready to face more misfortune in the future. 

School

Adoption

All the time i need a person to talk 
I don't know whyyyy 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts