Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

writing this while my mind is in a dark place
friend said something a day ago, how they waited for me to hang out but i never came
i actually did tell them that we should hang out, so i basically flaked on them. it wasnt the first time either, it has happened many times before and i just feel so bad, ive just been kinda running away from it, havent talked to them in a day and dont feel like talking to them anytime soon. just been hanging out with other friends and stuff
honestly, since i woke up, i havent had the motivation to talk to them, and i definitely dont want to talk to them tomorrow too.
i just worry that one day maybe ill mess up really bad and it could ruin our friendship, i dont even have that much friends, definitely below 8.
after writing this i felt a little better.