World is full of hope and happiness if we start living instead of worrying.. 

Compassion

Idk what's wrong i am not feeling good inside

3am Thoughts

“If you don’t share someone’s pain, you can never understand them.”
                                         – Nagato (Naruto)

Quotes

I'm literally dying. I can't help things. Everything is so overwhelming. Idk what to do. I hurt myself today, I'm too scared, but I sort of fell calm and relaxed after those cuts. I really for the moment forgot any pain inside, and just focused on the outside. Even after smoking, I do not feel nice. I feel as if I'm just alone, I want to runnn away somewhere, or most importantly, I want to die. I really am fed up now, I can't do this anymore. It's tooo tough. Whom should I share this with, whom should I talk to. No one gets me, I don't want to talk to anyone most importantly. 

Depression

Giving so much importance to someone.. That's affects my routine.. So how to stop😫

Anxiety

Happy belated valentine's day! 
I hope whoever's reading this had a good valentine's day
Cuz I'm not
Why? because when Valentine's day came I stayed up till 6 am watching a Thai gay drama while crying... Why? because in the drama A likes B, but all B does is talk about girls
and ik that feeling too well...
When I woke up I continued watching the drama and continued crying
then when I went down to meet my friends, I was really down.. I guess they could see that cuz one my friends dragged me and asked me what's wrong (let's call her "S") ... She said, "If you like that person, don't you respect them? So don't you think they should know that you like them" then another friend told me we needed to talk (let's call her "N') So "N" already knows who I like.. (Who I like is "K") and that time "K" was with us too. So "N" after hearing "S"s advice asked if I wanted to tell "K" that I like her who is as straight as a pole.. and what do you know I ended up telling "K" I like her in the weirdest possible way.. and came home...

And you must be thinking "Well, isn't that a good thing?" Well not really... because 
1) everybody there could see I was sulking the whole time and even quietly shed some tears.. and so could "K" so she asked me why I was so down... I told her "The person I like is straight" and telling her I like her after expressing how much pain I went through... is just cruel... but my friends' we're practically forcing me to confess...

2) I can't even face her now... how am I even supposed to look at her or text her like how I used to after that... She even said she wanted to talk to me but I can't come anyway since it's my Mom's b'day

I'm too afraid to talk to her now... you know what's the irony? one year ago... on Valentine's day I confessed to my crush who was a guy.. and I had been thinking about doing it for a week... I was so sure that he liked me back... and he did

But this time it's the complete opposite... It's a girl, I didn't plan anything... It was really awkward... and I'm sure that she doesn't like me back

What is my life? You know... before Valentine's, I kept listening to the song "It's you" By Ali Gatie... which has the lines 
"Please, don't break my heart.
Don't tear me apart.
I know how it starts.
Trust me: I've been broken before.
Don't break me again.
I am delicate.
Please, don't break my heart.
Trust me: I've been broken before.

I've been broken.
Yeah. I know how it feels
To be open
And then find out your love isn't real.
I'm still hurting.
Yeah. I'm hurting inside.
I'm so scared to fall in love,
But if it's you then I'll try."

I related to this so much... but now I sing it in past tense...
My heart's been broken twice... and I never wanna fall in love again.. I wish I was asexual or had alexithymia 

**Depression**

So I think I have depression.. because I have a lot of the symptoms... ("yes" means I have the symptom)

1) Neglecting friends and hobbies - Yes
2) Changes in sleep patterns - Yes (but because I'm addicted to my laptop)
3) Change in appetite - Yes
4) Low self-esteem -  Yes
5) Decrease in Hygiene - Yes
6) Irritability - Yes
7) Flat emotions - Yes
8) Hurting everywhere - Yes
9) Can't seem to make up mind - Yes
10) Keep me crazy busy -
11) Tearyness - Yes

**Teenage Depression** (this is a type of depression which is why I've listed it separately)
1) Continuous low mood and Sadness - Yes
2) Being irritable or intolerant of others - Yes
3) Showing feelings of helplessness - Yes
4) Increasing social Isolation - Yes ( a little bit)
5) Little to no enjoyment of things I once liked - Yes ( Not that much)

Questions:
1) Should I interact with "K" and if yes, then when?
2) How do I overcome this immense pain that I feel in my heart...?
3) What do I do now that I think I have depression?

Sorry if this is too long... I hope I didn't forget to add anything... thank you for reading...

One Sided Love

I can physically feel the ache in my heart. Is it possible? To feel your emotional pain in physical way or am I overthinking. But I can really feel the pain. The burn. 😢😢😢

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts