Why would you ever, kiss me
I am not even half as, pretty
You gave her your sweater
Its just polyester 
But you like her better
I wish I was Heather ... 

Music

I failed...i failed again miserably...the disappoinment in everyone's eyes and tone...the hope they had in me has gone....i can't take this anymore..its all my fault...everything is ruined...

Life

lgnorance is more deteriorating than negative reaction to any behaviour/action. Reaction is important as, atleast, you are showing that you care about what he/she does.
Let's suppose, your partner does something that you did not like. Well, some might say ignorance will keep the conflict at bay. I think they are living in fantasy. Your ignorance give them the opportunity to cross limits; disrespect the dignity of established relationship and, in that process, you lose respect and being taken for granted.
 That's just not the only possibility as you also start disliking them which will eventually crumble the possibility of improvement.

NOTE: conflict delayed is conflict multiplied.

Relationships

Idk how to deal with all the clutter of thoughts that I have spread over my mind. I want to escape from reality for atleast a while. I am not suicidal. I want to get back on track but all my tries are failing constantly. I don't like talking to new people for a long time. I miss the old bond that I had. I feel like my whole life is slowly shattering down. I have to work hard but maybe I am just too lazy. Idk whether I am lazy or did I just burnout. I feel the only thing which will give back all my energy will be talking to my closest friend. But our bond broke off recently. I had swore to never talk to him again but the place that he had in my life is irreplaceable. He was my only comfort zone. I can't explain the reason behind the breakup it's just a way too long story but I am sure nothing can be made alright since my self respect is at stake. I had another close friend. But it's been almost an year wince our bond broke. I can't figure out what I want in life. I don't want to be dependent on anyone for happiness but this thought is contradictory to my actions. Please suggest me ways to live without supporting on anyone for emotional support.

Can someone call me?? RN , I need it

Lately I have been starting to the gym and i also started having healthy meals everyday. Though I am not much of a cook, I have been starting to look at protein and vitamin filled recipes. Though I am happy at losing weight I am also scared at what people would think of me and my drastic changes throughout my face and body. I am happier, sure. But happiness comes at a price. Lately I have been struggling with lack of sleep and my muscles aching from the hours I had spent at the gym. I am afraid of what my friends would think of me. They know nothing of this. I have also started using skincare products because I spotted a pimple around the side of my nose. I want to take good care of myself. I always try to think happy thoughts. That’s hard to do though. Because of my new daily routine I have had no time to to the things I love, like reading a book or going to the new coffee shop in town. When I see people they only ever point out the things I’m doing wrong and never what I am doing right. Though I decided to meet my small group of friends, I am scared. Will they be happy for me? Will they be mad? Will they say how it isn’t fair for me to have something good happen to me? This has happened before. Last year when we went out for karaoke. It was my turn to sing a song and throughout my whole life I was told by my family and others that I had a pleasant singing voice. Though when I went up there my friends all looked mad and said I was terrible. I am afraid to repeat these turn of events. I don’t want to say my friends are jealous because I do not want to sound like a bad friend.

Physical Health

Apne se jyada apna maana tha tujhe 
Aksr mehengi chezen psnd aa jaati hai mujhe 

3am Thoughts

i am trying so hard to keep my happiness and positivity but it’s getting really hard :( i lost my job, i lost my boyfriend, i’m losing motivation for school, my best friend is sick. i feel so conflicted right now but i don’t wanna fall back into being depressed or sad all the time. it took three years for me to finally be happy but so much is happening all at once and i don’t know how to control my emotions right now :( 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts