Why we won’t do thing which might lead to a end but if I won’t it will be the best. Even if the risk is worth 

3am Thoughts

Hi,
Recently I did something which I am feeling guilty about and I do not know how to process that guilt.
I have always believed in love more over physical intimacy. I am not someone who would go for hook ups or one night stands.
It had been two years since I have felt close to someone.
Recently I made a profile on a dating app. Matched with a guy, we talked for a few times before meeting. The meeting went fine. We went for drinks. And I was a bit tipsy.
Later he dropped me home. And asked if he can come over. Generally I would have said no to any guy but I don't know what happened that night I invited him over. Then we had few more drinks together at my place. 
Then one thing led to another and we ended up making out. After that night he said that he felt good with me but I don't know if it was my actual feelings that made me close to him or it was the alcohol or maybe the need of being close to someone. I did something like this for the first time in my life and feeling so guilty about it.

Sexual Health

What you choose,it happens. So decide what you want to choose.

Affirmations

‘Disappointed but not surprised’ has been my biggest mood in 2021

Well..tried to put on make up ..but Was confused  how to do it ..but it ended up really bakwassss....and that'w I passed my half of the weekend...well people what did you do today

Mindfulness

I went through a tough  time for the past 2 years . I loved someone back in 2019 . He was in my college and we hit it off but during the first lockdown when  we were separated geographically for a year in between there came a time when he started behaving absurdly ...like Calling more than 25 times in 4 hours and was paranoid and bored . He even forced me to live in but I wasn't ready and i got scared seeing this kind of behaviour which he never showed before.  Some time after our break up I fell for someone who too was from my college and my class and he too started liking me . In fact he made the first move and i went ahead with it . Soon after the 2nd wave i came back to a common place where he was also going and we stayed in live in relationship for 10 months . Alot of things happened. We fought . Things became really fucked up and some verbal abuses were exchanged . He lived with me rent free for a couple of months (more than for 3 months ) i did everything for him which I never did for anyone before or things which i usually wouldn't just to make him comfortable and at home . I am having a hard time dealing with this breakup since I never fell so hard for someone . I genuinely loved him . We are now just friends after 4 months of not talking . We haven't seen each other for 4 months since I went back home and ever since I came back i didn't meet him .

Just wanted to vent out my feelings . If anyone has anything to say that can help me gain a perspective are welcome.

Anxiety

Good night ✨✨

Life

Nacho nacho.. [RRR].. so i danced in the cinema hall when this song came 🫣🫣🫣 confession.. was  it a creep act?🥲😂 

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