Relationships

I want to breakup with him because he have hurt me so much and he is the one who broke up with me first but I am not and I can’t let go of him.I started to have hope to get our relationship back and i go back to him begging and after long begging he let me in in his life and the same cycle start again he hurt me I asked him not to,he broke up with me and i go begging the never ending cycle 
And i am tired of this and I want to be strong enough to let go of him
What should I do???

Breakup

I feel weird. Lost, I guess.
I keep questioning myself, "Is it really over? Is that how we were meant to end? How would I face it when I see him live again? Is this how it's going to be?"
Yes we had our shortcomings. But we could've worked it out right?!
But we couldn't. But I can proudly say that we did try but it wasn't enough. And I wouldn't want to believe that it's because we weren't good for each other. We were imperfectly perfect. We still are. But we let insecurities win over us. The beautiful us, got destroyed because of that. 
I can't really digest it though. But maybe this is what is meant to be or should I go back to him once more? Give us another chance. But as much as I know that if we both try we can make it on the other hand if we fail, we'll fail miserably and we will hate ourselves for what we did to the beautiful us.
I hope he does well wherever he is. And I hope we are strong enough when we see each other live. And I pray for an even more beautiful us, who knows to fight insecurities and not each other, will come someday, and that day these tears would come out with a smile on my face.
Take care.

Today my ex bf sanju message me and said that he wants to be in relationship again. As I know his father died last week  I told him to be just friend but he clearly said he don't play this hide and seek he wants only relationship but i am already in relationship with his friend for 8mnth whose name is Abhi. I told abhi everything  he said If
you have any feelings for him go back. 
Abhi  helped me in study as we both are preparing for job.  Sanju helped and support me a lot he always said that i am his life his weakness . I don't decide What should I do? If I leave abhi i will lost my study partner. If I leave sanju he will get hurt as he is very sensitive and also in this situation I don't want to leave him alone. Sanju needs my support  . And for my better career I need abhi's help. Please suggest me the right things to do. 

Lonely

Hey you guys, i just got off from the phone from someone with whom i am trying to have a relationship. So we had a fight and then i took about 1 week or more to calm myself down and made myself to talk to that person. Now while we were on call he did a little stunt against which i cut the call and blocked him but he kept messaging to call. Apparently he is having panic attack because of what i did and then on vc he blamed me, like itne dino se baat nhi hui h or tu abhi bhi yeh kr rhi h, i am heartless. 
I saw his anger, his frustation and how he blamed me on the vc, it was a nightmare to see someone close to you reacting in the certain manner and you are being responsible for it. I felt like i have to right to live , i am the worst inspite that whole episode raised my anxiety to next level

Anxiety

He compared me to his ex, I hate that. I hate it in general when people compare to other people. It reminds me of them, how nothing I do I really good enough and how I can always be as good this person and that person. But this time, Kai said it like I’m a terrible person. I asked how and he hasn’t spoken to me since. Alcohol has been my best friend since, I miss him. And I think I love him, he told me he loves me, but if you really love someone would you ignore them? I’m not entirely sure, my parents love was harsh and sometimes cruel, they said they loved me tho. I don’t know what to feel, I’m not going to beg for his attention, but gosh I just miss having someone to talk to. I wish he would tell me why he did that. Did I do something wrong? And if so what? 

I called him at my house today. We r not couple not frnds but idk what we are. Had sex too. Also on my periods only. Scared of getting pregnant. He left in 3 hours. Idk why but i feel bad. Also i feel lonely rn as im alone in the house. Idk what just happened. Are they even guys who call a woman pretty praise them comfort them assure them that they r with them? No i dont think so. All boys are after lust. Im so tired and fed up. I feel guilty of what i have done. I like him but he doesn't. I am ruining myself

Addiction

I'm feeling sad today, I wish that I could breakup.He has said that he will not marry me unless his elder brothers does so. One of his brothers lives in a foreign country.When he comes here, he will start a job, then he will get married.Do not know why it seems that all these will take a lot of time.After that the brother between them will get married, and then ours.My parents are old I have two brothers younger than me.My parents are waiting for my marriage.After that both of my brothers will get married. Do not know that there will be a lot of time in my marriage while waiting.Don't know in which year my marriage will be done.My expectations are slowly decreasing.ाIt seems that until my marriage number comes my parents will not be there.I will not be able to bear this sorrow.I like this person very much, I do not want to leave also he neither me earn much to start a life together, Sometimes there is a desire that I get married to the parents' choice and break up with him But I know this is not good to do with anyone.I am very confused thinking about my future.I feel very scared thinking about the life ahead.


Conflict

I really feel angry and frustrated when a close friend of mine, whom I consider my bestie, ignores me for months, neither calls nor messages and then suddenly messages one day... we talk once or twice and he disappears again... this act literally leaves me empty and alone... and I feel it burdensome to talk to him at that time, I feel like I am just an option and am being used... I feel hard to laugh and genuinely smile at his texts or calls because of this act of his... we have fought multiple times over this, he apologized but continue doing the same thing... I am like, I know you are busy, but u can ping a message once a week.. telling me if you are alive or not.... I don't know, maybe I think of him as my bff but he doesn't...maybe I am expecting too much... it is just that I don't have many friends, I consider him my closest but I find myself hiding things from him and not telling my issues to him due to this nature of this- he just mocks, cracks jokes and disappears again... every time I think that this is our last talk and I won't talk with him again but this cycle repeats... I am genuinely confused and angry

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts