Why doesn't my father understand I need them . When I say u don't listen to me why does he not accept and blames and throws everything on me . I want someone to hold me and hug me tight and say everything is going to be alright . Why doesn't he understand . I m not in a good place .

My dad works in other cities and only comes back for like weekends. When he's here he's drunk. When he can't drink, like this weekend cause he was on some pills he's just grumpy. He doesn't act like a dad. I'm pretty sure he doesn't care about me at all. When he's away he only texts and talks with my mom. He doesn't care about me. That hurts. What did I do wrong? Am I not enough?

What would you do if you come to know that your parent is cheating on his/her partner? I mean of you find your mom cheating on your dad or vice versa? Talking is not a solution. It happens every time and no doors are opened! It's the same always!

Parenting

I'm feeling unloved and unappreciated by my dad. He always tries to get on my nerves whenever I'm going through something. He always makes fun of me, insults me, yells at me or calls me names a lot of times. Today, I was just talking with my mom about something related to college and suddenly he came in and called me a failure and stupid. He said lots of hurtful things that I don't want to recall.. to the point that I felt physically sick. I couldn't breathe as soon as we started fighting after. I'm just dealing with a violent.. rude and ignorant dad. He causes me lots of anxiety and I don't feel comfortable being around him in this house. He made me feel so shitty about myself even when I try to just be nice to him. I feel so alone

Lonely

I got into a huge fight with my dad today...he told me that all mbbs students just study for 4 days and write the exam.rest all of the days they just go out watch movies and enjoy...I told him mbbs is not like arts coz the degree in itself is not going to do anything it's all about practice after that and i got angry coz he gives zero respect for the efforts I put... I literally live my entire life for them and i hate it when he gives zero respect back..i don't want him to glorify me but atleast can't he not disrespect? 

3am Thoughts

It's frustrating when you try to be a good son for your father but whatever you do is not enough. It never was, no matter how hard I'm trying it's like I'm always doing something wrong but I can't think or understand what and it's killing me....

This maybe boring if you don't like reading long texts. I wanna un-bottled up.
When i was around 9 my family wasn't so great my father had drinking problem. My mom was sick of it and me my mom kind of left dad for about 2 years or so. During time when he was drinking my mom and father fight but my dad wasn't abusive nor he would curse when he gets drunk. In those days we were living with the mom's side of relatives. I often gets scolded about my dad's drinking problem by my aunts. Also at around 6 i didn't wanted to go to school but my aunt forced me to. As a kid i was afraid and then she hit with a really big wood relatively larger and heavier than 3 baseball bats. While i was getting hit and crying i looked over to my mother she was cooking in the kitchen. I asked for help but looked at me with a smile and ignored me. At around 9 my family got together we were living in harmony when my dad gets drunk he used to come to me and say how much he loves me and also does the same thing to mom. One day stray puppy was dying my dad looked after it and found a rubber band tied around its neck. He asked me if i did it.  I said no. He was suspicious but truly to this day i am not sure if i did it. It started hunting When i was 10.  As a silly kid i was doing silly things . One day i found 3 used batteries. I put wires and tapes at each ends and plugged in thinking it would charged the batteries ofcourse batteries exploded. Dad heard and hit me for doing such stupid act well i kinda deserved it but the moment he accused me killing a pup in the past.  I got mad and got traumatised. Now we live happily both my family and relatives.  But whenever i argue with a family member . I just ignore them or even sometimea i juts walk outta the house. I don't feel attached to anyone not even my parents. I kinda feel peaceful when i'm living alone except only problem is night anxiety.

Smoking

I hate living here. I often get told i am just an angsty teen or "no, he loves you!" But he doesnt. My father doesnt care about me. He keeps me fed and keeps a roof over my head but he doesnt care... why should he get brownie points for the literal legal requirements of being a parent, ill never understand. He is sexist and homopobic. He only talks to me whenever he needs something or whenever my grades are failing, he doesnt even bother pretedning to care about my interests, he ignores my mental health, he refuses to accept the way i dress (i prefer relatively masculine and gender neutral options) i feel as though i am talking to a brick wall when i mention these things. I am unwelcome and tired.  

Caregiver

My dad is an asshole, it's always about him, and my problems are irrelevant. He doesn't care for my feelings and just does what he wants with no repercussions. He always comes home and vents that he pissed about something or another and I'm just suppose to sit there and listen. But, when I need a little support with my own problems, it's always "it's not that big of a deal", "your just faking", and a bunch of other bull. I try to get some sympathy and compassion from my mom, but no she makes excuses for him saying things like "he's unhappy right now", or "he's dealing with some things". He's always unhappy and always dealing with things, but it doesn't mean he needs to take it out on me, when I already have my own stuff to deal with, it just adds to the whole depression and anxiety thing.

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