Why can’t I find a job.. it’s been 4 years hoping to get one. It’s so frustrating 😡

Career

I feel free 

Healthy Food

Lonely af 😕

3am Thoughts

I don’t really have anyone to talk to. 
It is so hard for me to connect with people lately and I realized it’s been this way ever since I moved away from my friends 4 years ago (parents choice not mine.) The last time I felt like someone genuinely cared about me was back then. And it’s so hard for me to care about anyone if I don’t feel it reciprocated because it’s like a defense mechanism: oh u don’t really care so now I am going to immediately drop all feelings I had for u (platonically) and pretend i never liked u at all so that it doesn’t hurt when u act/show u don’t care that much. It’s like that. What I want and what I’ve wanted for so long is to have a person. I’m their person and they are mine and we both mean the world to each other. I think I got this idea from movies and shit and it’s stuck with me and made me miserable 

Hello everybody,I am here because I really need someone to talk to.Since I was a child I had always been this very shy kid..and it was not that severe.But then as I grew older,I started learning that the world is not an easy place to live in.I started to become aware of how others see me,and if I talk to them,I'm afraid they'll talk about how shy I am,later when I'm not around.I hate going to school because that's where everyone is friends with everyone.I would be that person who would just look at the other students laughing and chatting with each other.I would cry every day after I come home.I tried telling the one person who I trust so very much about how I feel,but she doesn't understand me.It really hurts because I want someone,atleast one person to be able to understand how I feel.
My father would compare me with other kids,that always makes me feel bad.My family asks me to go do this and that outside so that I won't be this shy anymore.I know they want the best for me,but even small things like just buying things outside is suffocating for me.I would be so proud of myself if I succeed in buying the things.
And also sometimes,I will get all sort of thoughts,"What was the point of me being born?I don't do anything,I just make my family worry,I make them angry,I make them dissapointed,there's no meaning for me to be here".But I don't want to suicide either.I just wish I would be able to fix this someday.

Lonely

Since cancelo is injured and out for few weeks hector fort might be the right-back for barca 90℅ chances are that he will be the right-back for barca. ⚽

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts