Who do you love? Who has loved you?...tell them, tell them now! You never know when it will be your last chance!!
Don't take this magical thing called life too seriously ♥️

Ajay...

Pompi

karan

3am Thoughts

Anybody from Patna???

Now&Me Meets

I hate feeling like the world is against me ,I don't remember the last time something good happened to me,I haven't done anything to deserve this nothing sounds better than dieing

Any romantic incidences?

Crush

Sometimes when i have to do certain things which was not part of my plan my heart weighs so much. I could literally feel it. When things hurt me or I have to chose between something and when i can't make the decision this happens and all i do is just ignore my heart bcz if not it's gonna hurt some others. I just make my heart adjust to the situation. It hurts so much but i somehow manage and move on and make myself happy. But i Sometimes still have that regret. My heart weighs so much and it beats fast. Is this ok and normal. They happened for slightest of reasons but it makes a tough situations for me.

Anxiety

This is so weird, and probably no one who reads this will understand, but I need to write about this now that I've finally found a way to maybe describe this feeling I've been experiencing for a while... 

"Fear of the past/retro vibes"???
So I was watching a video on tiktok, it's like an edit about pop culture of the 80s, famous movies, actors, places and just the vibes of the 80s in general with Everybody Wants to Rule the World in the background and as I was watching this video with this retro vibes that my past self would have loved, I got this kinda rejection feeling, I don't really know how to describe it, it's not like disgust or hate towards it, but as if I was scared of it??? It's so weirdddd

I was born in 2002, so I grew up watching 2000s and 90s TV shows, movies, music videos, and obviously some ot the 80s too. The malls, theaters, parks where different back then, they had those 00s, 90s, vibes still. When I was a kid I imagined that I would grow up to that same world that I saw in the TV and the internet, it was never like that. I felt the change of turning into a teen in 2014/2015 so it was sooo different already, but I didn't realized that I never met my expectations of the world until 2017/2019, when I started watching series and movies with those retro vibes again, and as I remembered those I loved them even more, longing for those feelings again, movies and series like Edward scissor hands, the simpsons, F is for family, the Breakfast club, others that I can't remember atm, and songs of the era made me feel like I wanted to live in them, experience them even if the technology wasn't the same. 

I always had this weird feeling (kinda like and obssesion) everytime I remembered certaing things of the 90s/00s, like the greenish filter in movies like the matrix, movies that had like phone booths, abandoned-looking places, (writting and thinking about it right now is making me feel negatively wtf), I loved thinking of those, I wanted to find a way to search those vibes on the internet but I didn't find the words and didn't know at all how to describe it (because my mother language is spanish and that media was mainly made in english)...

The feeling wasn't as strong, until the pandemic happened. 
I played this game Yumme nikki that had this most weird and amazing vibes and soundtrack, and thanks to tiktok I found this "Dreamcore" thing that finally allowed me to look into that stuff more openly, i was SOO grateful I finally found people that liked the same weird stuff, I made my playlist in spotify, pinned stuff on pinterest, saved and watch videos in YT and even until last year I still loved those vibes, but now I HATE everytime I get the feeling of living similar to those decades, it just doesn't feel right from brief periods of time. From time to time remembering all that stuff feels like it wasn't real (I ovb know it was but doesn't feel like it).

Also I had like this burnout period last year, i was kinda deppresed and before I hit rock bottom I would listen and watch that media for comfort, even if in the back of my head everything had lost meaning, and sometimes after staying awake consuming that multimedia I would try to sleep feeling like real life was shit .... With help and time I kinda got out of it

Months after I moved to another city, one that my family visited a lot when I was a kid, I was out with my mom, dad, and grandma and after watching streets that gave me those vibes i think I started dissociating badly for the rest of the day, I was there with them but it felt like a dream, like it wasn't real, like i wasn't real, as if we were in one of those movies, I didn't feel at home, I still managed to act like everything was fine but I felt so uncomfortable.

I even stopped liking some songs and certain music for the same reason, I hated everything that reminded me of my past and the past that I never had (the 90s/80s). There where days that looking at the sky, the clouds, streets, stores, made me feel SOOO UNCOMFORTABLE, I think at that moment I did HATE nostalgia, I wasn't sad, I just felt rejection towards that. The memories of being a kid in the 2000s that once I wished so bad to revisit now I hated them and wanted them to go away, it's so hard to explain. 

Luckily everything it's getting so much better, that tiktok incident that made me finally write this wasn't as bad as before... It's like I'm having a second childhood getting all these new perpectives and hopes from the world, that the past seems so hollow, meaningless, depressing, lonely and (other negative adjectives) to me.

People can do anything for money in the sake of fake friendship love n marriage once you fall in tat then they show ur real face used u as they want be careful while making any relationship either it’s online o offline

Affirmations

So my contract with my company ended this May. I mostly worked from home since last March. But today I am going to get my belongings from my office and cottage. While I already have plans for my future, i feel so heavy leaving this place. I met really nice people and I am kinda emotional thinking how the time flies.

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts