whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest,whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report ;if there be any virtue, and if then be any praise, think on these things

Iska simple mtlb hai ke agr kisime koi quality hai to uspr ghaur kre mtlb benefits kya hai....

Books

garba kya difficult h bhai ye gujju chicks kese beyblade  banke naachte h 

Current Affairs

I just posted something regarding my feelings and someone started talking shit...then the same person reported my post... this place is getting hostile now

3am Thoughts

I hope someday he will realize my worth. But I'm tired of being in this kind of relationship. I want to be free. 

Stress

Traveling not for good reason but for the last good bye 🥲

Life

210330

I'm here after a long time. Things were not that good, but not that bad either. I'm here today to share yet another thing that's been troubling both my mother and me. In totally different ways tho.
So, it all starts on 28th March 2021; which was two days ago. My sister and I were walking in the park when we saw our father come home. It was around 7:30 pm something and it was unusual for him to come this early. If you know me from my previous posts, you might know that I haven't talked to him for a year now. Reasons are justified. Now, after seeing him come, we resumed our walk.
Around 8 pm, I started feeling a little dizzy from walking and decided to go home and take a shower or something. I went back home alone and as I neared the door to our flat, I heard voices from inside. My father was on the phone while Maa was talking about something. I called out from outside and heard Maa asking me to come back at 9 pm. Instantly, I knew something was wrong. Because my mother doesn't like being alone and having nobody to talk to. So, my instinct was to tell her no. She opened the door and told me to come back at 9. Her voice was shaky. I shook my head and tried to make my way inside to see what was wrong. She started to push me back, but I did enter. The room was all good and I could hear my father talking to, I presumed, my grandmother. I told her that if he makes you cry, I'm gonna make his life hell and I went back to the park. But the dizzy feeling didn't go away. 
After 10 minutes or something, I went back. We have three flats something, so the 3rd floor was my sister's and mine and the four of us lived on the 1st floor. The second floor was for my mother to do yoga ad sew clothes and all. I slowly opened the door to the staircase leading upstairs, hoping she won't catch me. But she did.
She asked me from inside the house about what I was doing here. I responded with a need to take a bath and went inside to take my clothes. As I moved past her, I stopped. She was crying. I looked back and asked her why she was crying. She shook her head continuously and was telling me to go upstairs. Knowing that I cannot ask her now, with that monster in the other room, I went upstairs.

The next day was Holi. And that meant that my father would be home. The whole day was kinda good and all. Now, today, we were going to the temple. Maa and I. Again, the whole time we were there and all was good and made us really happy.
When we came back home, after eating her breakfast, Maa asked me if she could share something with me. She was hesitant at first and I knew it was related to something sexual. I told her to just tell me if you're comfortable. 
She told me that when he came home, she was upstairs sewing some of her clothes (second floor). She started crying while telling me that he forced himself on her. He was trying to rape her.
And she started resisting. He got angry and asked her what her problem was. He told her to come downstairs to discuss 'what her problem was'. She told me that she was crying while coming downstairs. She started talking about how my grandmother would spy on them when they were newly married and all that. Maa told my father that your mother might be like that and all, but I'm not like that. (It's a thing that goes in my family. Connecting things and habits with our relatives and all.) He responded with - Let me call my mother then, Let me ask her what your problem is. As Maa was narrating all this, tears were already running down her cheeks and her voice was shaking uncontrollably. She was breaking.

My mother gets raped every time whenever we aren't around. My sister doesn't know about this cause I don't tell her. She is achieving her life goals fast and both of us want her to go live her life. Escape from here. She is 5 years older than me and is already living.

What should I do to help my mother? I know that divorce is the right option, but it will take my mother years to get that kind of courage. Mainly because she is willing to divorce him after high school. 
How can I help her? Like I thought not to leave her alone with him anymore. I sleep downstairs on the couch now, so that she feels safe with me being in the next room. How can I help her more? How can I make her feel safer?

Marriage

I am looking for someone coz i feel alone 

Depression

Hii friends i saw one girl today at telugu ugadi celebration at iitbhu.
She wears light green dress and has specs I don't know her name or department. I simply lost my path seeing her and she also saw me near the door, and i tried to talk to her but i felt shy to talk to her, i simply watching her and lastly i saw her when she drinking water near to the washroom.
That's it, 
i don't know why she is not going from my mind.

Crush

Remember to let go off what you can't 
Change

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts