What should i do??
My mother always scolds me and beat meā¦ She doesnāt understand meā¦ We usually fightā¦ I used to listen all that silently and cry aloneā¦ But now when itās too muchā¦ When i stand for myslfā¦ Give my opinion, things get more worseā¦ She scold me for stupid stuffā¦ Whenever sheās angry with father or my brotherā¦ She took it out on meā¦ She nag over me for stupid reasonsā¦ Sheās got soe serious anger issuesā¦ She sometimes threw food or throw thingsā¦ Last time she threw chairs over meā¦She know she canāt say anything to father as doesnāt listen to him and my brother is the worstā¦ He start everything and make things worseā¦ Bcz of him my mother and father strt fighting moreā¦ When i was smallā¦ I used to see their serious fightsā¦ My father used to drink so muchā¦ Iāve seen my mother using clothes to hang herslfā¦ To scare himā¦ So he would not do againā¦They think i donāt remember thatā¦ But k remember all the thingsā¦ My father drink causally nowā¦ So itās not a problem anymoreā¦ But yk i canāt forget that dayā¦ When he came drunkā¦ She was so angryā¦ She refused to make foodā¦ And the other day was my examā¦ He insisted to make dinnerā¦ And she told me toā¦ But i saidā¦ I couldnātā¦ And she became so angryā¦ That she threw me in the floor and beat strted beating meā¦she even kicked meā¦she beat me like a animalā¦ I couldnāt even moveā¦ She took all her anger on meā¦ She said to himā¦ Iāll kill myslf and them tooā¦That day horrified meā¦ I get anxiety attacks everytime we fightā¦ But she thinks iām doing that all for gaining sympathyā¦ But sheās the one who cry in front of others and fatherā¦that iām like thisā¦ that i donāt listen to herā¦she never apologize after fightsā¦iām the one always who say sorry even when itās not my faultā¦ But yk everytime any argument happens bw her and meā¦ My father tells me to shut up and silently listen herā¦ Donāt argue backā¦ Her words hurts so muchā¦ What should i doā¦ I even try to do thatā¦ But she doesnāt stop!! And after all that i canāt hate herā¦ I feel guilty of saying bad abt herā¦ This is the first time iām telling all this to anyoneā¦When i was smallā¦ I used to see their
Ask someone close to help you out on this crisis
Idk whoā¦ I feel shame to tell this to anybodyā¦ If sheāll know i think this about herā¦ Sheāll strt scolding again or feel hurtā¦ I donāt wana hurt her anymoreā¦
Sorry for spelling and grammatical errorsā¦ Yk it was so hard to stop cryingā¦ So i used to listen music in high volume and danceā¦ So i could stop thinking abt all that and stop cryingā¦
Thanks a lotā¦ This means alot to meā¦ Atfirst i used to try thatā¦ I run whenever she try to say something that hurts meā¦ I used to go to rooftop, cry and then come downā¦ Iām also sitting in my roomā¦ Door closed and crying rnā¦ But whenever i try to avoid herā¦ She feels iām ignoring her and she try to come closer and make me listen all thatā¦ Iām in my room nowā¦ Now after sometimeā¦ Theyāll come and ask me to open the doorā¦ Idk how to deal with thisā¦ This is so messed upā¦ Thatās why i donāt like to be in homeā¦ I used to cry at night till i couldnāt breatheā¦ But when things get worseā¦ I tried to put my opinions fight backā¦ Tell herā¦ Itās not my faultā¦ Because whenever i runā¦ From this condition i strt to hate myslfā¦ For not speakingā¦ For not taking my sideā¦ But i tried this tooā¦ And i ended up hating myslf even moreā¦ For arguing backā¦ Wtf
This sounds very similar to my mom but my dad doesnāt usually know about it because she wonāt tell him and If I do she says that Iām lying.
Hey if you want to vent about anything you can. Iām there!!
Iām really sorry for this!!
But lots of hugs and care for you!!
Maybe try to talk to your friends who are close to you!!
