What if my happiness means somebody else will be unhappy, should i still pursue it? Even if it means disappointing the only people i have to rely on? Even if i might lose them? or is it selfish? I just don’t want anyone to think badly of me. I know this is my life but i’m not sure i can be happy living by myself and for myself, i wish i could be but i know i would only feel horrible about myself if i did end up losing these ppl i would only blame myself, I’d never forgive me for potentially ruining everything. But the thing is, even as i try to make everyone happy, even right now that i’m putting everyone else first, they don’t seem to be happy either, i have already failed not to disapoint them and i feel like if i keep being like this i will only keep being a failure, but at least i feel like i still have something, i still have their hopes on me, i don’t want to fully give up on that.
If your happiness gives those ppl unhappiness , they weren’t even worth it in the first place
Thank you for taking the time to reply. You’re probably right, actually, i know you’re right. I guess the only reason why i made this post and asked this is because I needed aproval, i needed to hear that i was not a bad person for just trying to be happy as i can, my intention is never to hurt others, but even if i don’t hurt them they become hurt when i can’t meet their expectations, I’m just scared of loosing people cuz would i be happy if i found myself to be completly alone? I don’t think so, and there are people that can’t be replaced and idk if i can live without them.
Well same here tho but what i learnt from all this you can’t make everyone happy…if your close ones aren’t appreciating when you are giving your entire self and sacrificing but they still sad and disappointed then i would say they are just not it …at first you might feel they are my everything how can i let them go but you will learn to cope up with the feeling…i use to put my all for others too but never realized how much of a broken person i became…
so the answer is if someone is not happy in your happiness they are not the people you should keep in your life it never works one way it has to be both ways and that’s the only healthy method…i hope you get what i meant here
Thank you for answering and undertanding my situation🤍 I get it but when it comes to family and very close friends, thinking that i can live without them seems wrong to me. I know that blood or years of knowing eachother don’t mean that much, but it feels like it. Telling this kinds of people that I don’t want what they want for me makes me feel ungrateful for everything they have done for me. Like how do i tell my parents that i don’t care if they support me financially and give me all of these oportunities that only a few can have, that I don’t want anything too special, that all i’ve ever wanted was for them to listent to me, to support me and trust my judgment, to allow me to not be okay etc. I have so much being given to me that i’ve grown to feel like I would be a horrible person to regect it and be any diffrent from who they want me to be, after all they have done for me, specially when im constantly told that, that i can’t do that to them, that they had faith in me, that i was their hope. Sometimes i think the same way you do, but then when i stand up for myself someone always makes me feel guity and as a human with emotions that i can’t control, i can’t control feeling guilt even if my head says im not wrong. Sorry this was long lol
See i think our situation is very similar…firstly you won’t be a bad person of course our parents our giving us the best life so that we are living at ease and you don’t have to be ungrateful to them and we can of course not repay whatever they have done for us …
but go and tell them that if you trust me let me do it i am and will be your hope forever just once chance is all i ever need and i want to show you whatever you have done to me is not going to go to waste… whatever they want you to do if it effects you solely for the rest of your life then you have to take the decision for your own self for eg career …but rest small things it’s fine i mean i am pretty sure you have listened to your parents when needed and stuff there is always going to be that guilt factor when you stand up for yourself but turn it into a challenge that i will prove it to you… you are not being selfish at all neither ungrateful you are just proving your worth and showing your true self to your parents and close one the real gem in you…and that’s why you feel guilty because people will always be in our life talking when we are about to do something amazing !!!.. so go on don’t feel regretful or anything because you are choosing yourself for once over anyone .
I hope u end up happy wherever u end up.
