well, today i got some extra work from my teacher to do whenever i finish my maths because i usually finish it 10-15 minutes before others. i was quite proud and excited for a challenge for a while but then my so-called ‘friends’ began making fun of me, telling me i was a suck-up and that if i got it they should get it too. they say it as though i haven’t worked hard to get to where i am? my eyes started watering but i couldn’t cry there. i didn’t want to. at break, i told my best friend who listened for a minute and then went on to talk about her own problems. it’s always been like that. i can talk for a minute (of few if im lucky) before she begins ranting about all the troubles in her life. i’m not being ungrateful am i? i just wish she’d listen to me for once. today, i told my mother and she was happy for me. i was grateful for that. she bought me some cupcakes to celebrate as well, however, i couldn’t feel the excitement i used to feel whenever i’d encounter something nice like that. i haven’t really been able to enjoy anything lately. i’ve been feeling like im being forgotten. my partner and i were to make a powerpoint, yet he abandoned me and went to work with his friends. my best friend can’t even remember my birthday when i have hers on my calendar, along with getting her a gift six months in advance. whenever i put my hand up to answer a question, even if i am the only one with my hand up, i am never picked. people only really know me as ‘smart girl’. no one wants to talk to me until the homework gets a little tricky. my friends usually take advantage of our friendship and make me do their homework. i don’t remember the last time someone asked what my favourite colour is, or how i am. truly, not just to be polite. my best friend usually says other people are better than me. jokingly, i presume, but it doesn’t hurt my feelings any less. i don’t really have anyone other than her. then again, she’d get rid of me in an instant if she could.
Hello, those are some heavy emotions. Don’t be discouraged or sad about not having any one to speak to or to share your emotions with! People always have their own perspective of listening and replying. And it not always be ones which would be uplifting. Being smart is a gift, standing out of the rest is a blessing. It’s natural for people to not understand your problem because maybe they have not been through what you have been through! RIght? And for the right people to come to your life, it might take some time, but till then the experience of you powering through such scenarios in life, gives you so much more leverage over others! Staying alone in this world is the single most hardest task to do. It takes more courage to know your boundaries and keep your mental health stable. And when it comes to problems and emotions you have the feeling to share or to be heard for, self talk and making your self aware of those problems are really rewarding. There is no better person who can understand you better than yourself. This feeling of not being heard is really a heart break, but again why would someone else listen to you when their problems are unanswered. For them, their problems are bigger than yours, maybe. But again that doesn’t mean you feel left out. I feel left out to because I have no friends. But that doesn’t depress me or sadden me. Whoever you are trust me there way better people and way better company on the hustling side of life. And all have been through what you are going through rn! It is totally fine, and natural of you! Take this as a test of your character building and patience!
Take deep breaths and confront rather bring all the emotions to your conscious, and solve them one by one! This will take time, but you will way happier and a stronger person as you go through! YOU GOT THIS CHAMP! 😎