Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Well I am 19 year old boy from India . I moved about 3 years ago to a new city cause of dads job and so I was kind of an outsider in my highschool final years . So I never really enjoyed the company of my classmates nor did I really have any friends outside .I had a dog he turned 7 this year . Well I kinda loved animals so I fed and took care of 4 street dogs I mean it was only one but eventually it became a family of 4 . And ya many of them couldn’t make it but 4 of them became strong adults . There was a dad a mom and 2 siblings well the mom got castrated this year earlier so we thought everything will be fine but amongst this pandemic they also got a disease called canine distemper. I didn’t know and the vet couldn’t come and even my dog ( his name was simba ) was sick . Simba was a beagle and he was practically my brother as I am a single child . So because of canine distemper the the thing is dogs become sick and have problems in breathing and eventually die due to starving and sometimes get a neurological disorder. So all of them passed away one by one except the mom . Simba slowly couldn’t was and when it got worse the lockdown restrictions loosened so we called the vet but his liver had failed and he couldn’t walk so we had to put him down I did it . Now it’s been a month and I saw a birds nest in my house with 3 chicks in them it was a red vented bulbul . A few years ago I had raised one from a chick and later it got adjusted to live in the wild . So now I saw 3 chicks in a nest so I eventually knew that one of them might fall and it might die so I just put the word out to my parents (cause you can’t put a fallen chick back in the nest as the mother bird abandons it ) they didn’t respond . And eventually it did happen so I carried the chick inside the house in the box I watched it breathe on my palm . When my dad saw it he got mad and made me put the bird back in the nest I told him that the birds abandon their nest when touched by humans but he said nothing would happen ( I didn’t question him cause he was the one who helped me raise our previous bird so I thought he knew alas he didn’t ) . So within 12 hrs I watched 2 of the birds die one was due to the mother dog . But then I saw one of them fallen on the front porch and there was movement so I thought I will rescue her but wen I turned the bird I saw white worms feeding on her inside . I just don’t know what to think now I am the one to blame why the hell did I listen to dad . Well if anyone made it this far I must thank you I have this constant rambling going on in my mind that I have to let go of and I know my dad hasn’t done anything wrong it was a lapse of judgment on my part but I would love to know about your views