Thought

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Now&Me @nowandme

We as humans are an amalgamation of multiple identities, our sexuality being one of them. In a country that doesn’t openly talk about queerness, we’re here to open up this conversation with you! Today we have with us Shaifila Ladhani, a feminist, queer affirmative & trauma-informed practitioner to talk to you about Queerness in India 🌈

About Shaifila Ladhani (She/Her)-

Shaifila Ladhani is an accomplished practising psychotherapist based out of Delhi. She believes that mental health is psychosocial in nature and that working with individuals requires acknowledging their psychosocial contexts. She is a feminist, queer affirmative, trauma-informed practitioner. She is working on building efficient models of therapeutic care, which takes into account the mental health needs and concerns that go beyond the space(s) of therapy. She has built a thriving private practice over the past years. She has worked with several NGOs and organizations to create accessible mental health services and products.

Feel free to ask her any and all questions aligning with the theme without a smidge of hesitation in the comment section ⬇️✍🏼

Remember that asking questions shows strength, not weakness. 🤗💐
🧡 Ask away and stay informed! 🧡

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @lily_reisse
Profile picture for Now&Me member @shaifila_ladhani
10 replies
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Anonymous

I am the part of this LGBTQ community i am one of them My Family wont accept it ever. I want to move out and i need someone. I am 28 years old and i am getting pressured everyday for marriage. This causes me a lot of stress and anxiety and I am not able to focus on anything further. I dont know what should i do. 1 thing is sure i cant come out to my parents. What should i do 😑😔

Ash @lovevictor

If your family is really toxic then try maintaining distance from them even if they are somehow your biological family. It’s better to surround with good people than some people you are just bound to stay with. If they understand then better if not then please try to move out or reach out to any NGO/friend if you can’t afford.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shaifila_ladhani

Shaifila @shaifila_ladhani

Hi, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this alone. But the fact is, there are so many folks who might have access to resources to support you in this time of need. Allow yourself to reach out to people who can help you find that safe space. Physical space and emotional space.

Sending you lots of love and power.

Anonymous

Hi! 😌 so I identify myself as pansexual, it has extremely difficult for me to come out to my family because they are very religious. It’s been like 5 years since I understood what I was feeling, throughout those years I’ve only dated twice and I don’t want to fail again in a relationship because of that issue. How can I come out to my family?

Thank you! 🤍

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shaifila_ladhani

Shaifila @shaifila_ladhani

Hi! First of all, kudos to you for allowing yourself the space to understand your identity and exploring it :)

Coming out in a family that you fear may not understand you, is always difficult. But here are some things that may be helpful:

1. Coming out (or not) is your own decision and your journey. So do it at a ace you’re comfortable with. There doesn’t have to be a timeline.

2. Remember that first and the most important part is safety. Ensure your safety: physical and emotional before anything else.

3. A lot of parents don’t have access to resources to understand sexuality and gender. You can share some informative videos and pamphlets to educate them. Understanding a new identity is difficult for a lot of people, educating them is not your job but it might allow them to understand you better. They may take some time, but I hope they accept you and love you.

It’s always tricky, who to come out to and when, but your concern has to be your safety first. Allow yourself to reach out to people from the queer community too, who may understand you with empathy. Just talk, share and communicate :)

Profile picture for Now&Me member @lily_reisse

quinn @lily_reisse

hey i think that it’s awesome that you guys are talking about sexuality and stuff, i myself am a non-binary lesbian. so i was just thinking that maybe instead of having this discussion be only about queerness in india maybe you could open it up to other countries as well? i know you guys are based out of india but there are plenty of people here who use this app that arent and i think making this more inclusive would be great! anyways let me know if im wrong on any of this! have a great day :)

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shaifila_ladhani

Shaifila @shaifila_ladhani

Hey Quinn!

That’s actually a wonderful input. However, since I am based out of India, it wouldn’t have been fair to talk about global experiences without expertise in them. But I would definitely ask the team to look into this :)

Profile picture for Now&Me member @lily_reisse

quinn @lily_reisse

yea i understand! thank you!

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