Want a rest...not as sleeping...but from the rush and race in the life....where nobody knows me...and I can be myself...no fear to be judged... just completely myself.

Then , what is stopping you from doing that?

just_me_expressing

3am Thoughts

I feel like i have become a hyper independent woman over time. Yes i tried looking for a partner but some guys made me realise why im better off alone. I always wanted to be independent but now i have stopped looking out for people. I have developed hatred towards people nowadays. People are shitty. I am forced to become a logical person when sometimes i need to ignore my emotions to make correct decisions. Idk how long i can be like this. But guess what i am feeling amazing to not give a fuck anymoree. I dont damn care about anyone now as i am tired and selfish. I will always protect myself first anytime....

woke up like i am such a useless person 

Anxiety

I'm not feeling good for a while now. This has been happening even before the lockdowns. I'm just fighting with everyone, pushing people away, ignoring people and avoiding conversations. I've gone from exercising regularly and enthusiastically to not exercising at all. I've been either binging or staying under calories only to feel famished and faint-ish. I've been purging out deliberately every third day now. I don't know what to. I'm getting very negative and self-destructive thoughts at all times like falling from roof or having a risking illness. Things people have said to me in the past are just roaming around in my head and I'm finding faults in me. I just feel super stuck and lost.

Eating Disorder

I needed to say  a lot but at the end it remains unsaid. I fear that if I start I may never stop screaming 

Adulting

So my plan or idea was no talking to anyone during ine week to focus on my mentalsef because i hace days or week on a moth where i have a big mental health.
 The thing is that I really try to be okay reaally trying but if sooo hard so hard that I can’t… sometime I don’t want to be here the only reason i still alive it’s  for my mother and other tame i want to be here cuz i want to know what kind of person i will be in the future i not really shure if i will be there.


When i aroud people ( friends) i’m in my world and i hate that because i can have fun , mind play with e all the tame and when i’m alone the same

Depression

Sometimes I just want to disappear... 

My life continues to be a garbage, joyless thing that I wish to discard. Nothing joyful comes in. Just more issues. I have always treated everyone nice and have done so much but I always get the short end. I have no real friends or a relationship. I feel sad all the time. I just wanna pack my things and go but I cant. I’m too scared to do anything and I have no money to support myself. I don’t know why I was created like this. So defected. So scared and lonely. I don’t have anything to keep me going and yet I am forced to. Why am I here? Why do I feel like all I do is suffer and scream in my head everyday. I don’t feel that joy that everyone else feels. Everyday I wake up and sleep with how I felt the day before. Empty. I am so tired. I just want to stay asleep. 




Lets be kind towards ourselves
Stay away from anything that drains your energy..
Non reactance helps alot..

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts