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USED. I feel used…
January 2020 i broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. Im openly gay and him on the other hand likes to hide it which i totally respect. everyone comes out when theyre ready.
Im 20, 21 this year and so is he. We dated for 3 years both being each others first relationship. He ended things because he told me he couldnt do it anymore and that he was now straight?!?!!! very confusing i know.

A year goes by to this year 2021, and we start messaging again. Hes passed his driving test and wanted to pick me up. He did, and he seemed different in a good way, more matured. anyway we dont speak about “us”, we spoke about how weve been, what we’ve been up to etc etc.

Couple weeks go past and he asks if i wanna go see the sunrise on which i agree to. We spend the whole day together after that, then becomes night time and hes on the way home to drop me to my house. He pulls in a car park to chat some more. He then turns to me, looks me in the eyes and says “im so glad we’re friends again” then jumps on me and hugs me so tightly for a while. we then rub cheeks together then look each other in the eyes and make out for ages. It felt amazing, it felt like the old times again, me with my boy again. One thing led to another and stuff happened. Once finished he said to me “I didnt feel anything did you?” and of course i did, i felt like wow this could be another chance, but of course i look and say “no dont be stupid, we’re just friends now, it meant nothing…” Then it was a very quiet drive to my house. I get home and burst out crying.

Its now been 2 days and hes not messaged me. Hes messaged me everyday since we made contact with each other again.

I have sent him a message an hour ago… “Hey i hope youre alright :) Are we okay? because i dont want the other night to effect our friendship”

I love this lad with all my heart and honestly have no idea what to do anymore. Im so confused, but then I think hes even more confused. I dont know what to do. 😕

Post anonymously?

I think you should do what’s best for you and be honest about how you’re feeling since it’s obviously hurting you not to know. Sometimes we can’t be friends with exes, sometimes 1st relationships don’t work out. You’ve given him 2 chances in your mind, right? Just give him 1 more, if he’s a friend he’ll shouldn’t be dragging you through this confusion.

I know 3 years is super rough, but isn’t it telling that he only contacts you now in 2021 when quarantine hits? Seriously ask him what he wants, tell him what you want, and if it doesn’t match up then cut him out. It’s not worth it


Thanks you for replying!! So before i get started I live on an island where we have been covid free since july 2020 which is amazing…
So he picked me up from work the other night and i said how is he etc and said hes fine and we chatted. He didnt say anything about the other night but hes just chatting about things in general so im so confused. He messaged me tonight telling me to enjoy my meal out with my friends, so im like okay so maybe he wants to take it slow, but apart from that he is the most CONFUSING boy everrr!! So a friend said to stop messaging him, stop chasing him and if he wants me hed show it. So thats what ive been doing and its working. hes messaging me first now, asking if i want a lift home from work etc etc. so im gonna give it time, its the first time seeing each other the past few days since a year so its still fresh. i feel like the feelings between us are still there, but i dont wanna rush it and just see how things play out!

thank you so much and yeah if he makes a move on me again im gonna be straight up with him and say if he is only wanting to be friends with benefits or if he wants to give us another go? so yeah thanks so much!! :)

That’s a really tough situation. I guess you should maybe 2 more days and then check on him. If he said he’s straight though, he’s clearly dealing with something. Maybe he doesn’t think he can be gay, maybe he’s bi or pan? If you guys did stuff he clearly feels something for you. IDK I’m sorry!!


I know man thank you! thats what my friend said, if hes made an effort to want to be in my life again, then make out with me he clearly still has some sort of feelings there for me??? but if he does it again im gonna be like BOYY HOL UP do u just want me for sex? or do you want to give us another go?? bc like valentines day is coming up andddd i wanna be lovedddd soooooooo haha yea its so confusing but just need time, but not too much time bc ya know, 14th of feb is only a few weeks away :) hahaha

true! and you deserve someone special for the day of love!