Umm hello random stranger I am no good me bad. But in all seriousness, hello and thank you for reading such a post and maybe responding as it means a lot to me. Anywho, where do i start? Through out half my life I always have this empty missing part like its their but not really. And ever since than I quess i’v been trying to feel such a gap and I think that its because of something like my personality or myself and I try but never really get to fill that gap. Once I was so close, in a trip to a restaurant and after so I felt full and light hearted , and even happy. But then after I thought it was not real like it cant be true or its false. So I told myself its not real and fake plus that its because of toxplasmosis, which is a disease that basically makes you more happy which also makes you stupider. I though that was happening to me like being happy is all a lie, a ruse. I panicked and felt unpresent and numb. And since then I lost my way. Struggling with this and never telling anyone as it all may just be something else and im overeacting and my parents and I have nothing to worry about. I dont want to be a spoiled teen or a nuisance to others. I just want to… well be free i guess. Sorry about how weirdly structured it is as I have never done anything like this throughout my life! But thank you for reading just needed to get this out.
Hi, I hope you’re doing well love. That feeling you got in the restaurant, maybe that was actually you feeling good and happy. I know it can come as a shock that how am I suddenly happy but it is possible. It is possible to feel moments of light-heartedness just because you feel you are away from the problems of the world. Please don’t apologise for anything, you sound like an amazing personnnn!