Angel<3 @4ngellovesyouuu
TW: ED???, body dysphoria, p3dophelia
I don’t know anymore bro im trying really hard to not think like this but its almost impossible not to. I’m a dancer. that means i have to watch my weight so it affects my mental heath greatly. Don’t get me wrong love dancing its probably the only thing that keeps me sane in life lmao. But me watching other dancers that have the perfect body, skinny, thin torso, light skinned. They arent judged. They dont have trouble finding your way into dance crews because your black. And i wish it was me. I wish i had a skinny enough body, i wish i was curvy enough. Not only that but new girls joined the team for a month
ago and they’re completely beginners yet they picked things up in only 2 weeks meanwhile it took me a month. They were able to learn tricks in 3 weeks that took me 2 years to learn. They are tall, skinny and almost everything i wish i was. THEY get all the praise when all i get is a cool and i literally have to almost beg for them to pay attention, THEN my friend of 5 almost 6 years is another story shes the captain and i get that but she cant use that to her advantage all the time. When I corrected the teacher I was yelled at and looked at in disappointment but as soon and she says the same thing i pointed out shes praised and its fixed almost immediately. I don’t get it am i not good enough??? Its fucking tiring. I’m tired of life, and almost everything in life. Therapy doesnt help. I’m never taken seriously when im struggling because im a “kid” and i don’t know real stress. I can never post my face when i feel pretty without having 50 year old men messaging me. I can’t walk in the street without being stared at and whistled at. I can’t anymore i really can’t.
May it will help if you stop looking for validation and approval from others, just try loving yourself more, do activities that you love, and dont give too much thought to what people think and say, dont make those things decide your worth, you should have self worth, i had no friends in school, i was ignored by everyone because i was different then them, but i stopped caring about that after school and things started to get better, i made awesome friends later on, and i really like my life now, but mostly because i made it that way, i dont look for any validation from anyone, i know iam worthy and enough…
