True friends are divine blessings in disguise. I dont know where i'd be without them.

Relationships

Anyone up for gupshup now. 

You are not my enemy, but I hate you.
I hate that fact that I cared for you once.
I hate that I hate you.
I don't want to hate you, but I don't wanna love you too.
It was a dream, we have never met anywhere. Everything was a dream which I wanted to forget.
I thought you were special, but no, you are just ordinary, just like others.
Everything happened at lightning speed, detachment too.

At one point of time, you will realize everything.

It was a lesson.. Added one more page to my lessons ❤

3am Thoughts

My bestfriend wants me to block all my other classmates ( acc to her my friends ). I sometimes thinks it's just her jealousy from them maybe.
I am scared if our relations is getting any toxic.
We both are girls.

Friends

**Why should a person like X live?**
X is 30 years old and unemployed for over a year now. He was also unemployed for two years when he quit his first job. After a gap of two years, he got selected in a Masters program. His Masters in Technology degree ended last year and earned him a good GPA. He has been unemployed ever since. He has tried applying for some jobs but to no avail. He shudders at the sound of his phone's ringtone now. He did get a couple of calls for interview but he made some excuse and got out of it. Firstly, he's shit scared of interviewing and secondly he's not preparing for them. He just refuses to put in the effort to study and prepare for any interview. This unpreparedness adds to his fear.

X is really shy, introverted, anxious, pessimistic, and an overthinker. He has no idea what he should do in life and has no real interests unless you call watching movies/TV and playing video games as interests(he doesn't). He has never been in love, never been in a relationship, never experienced any intimacy. He only has a handful of friends, all of whom are working in different cities. He rarely participates in group texts with them because the question of his job hunt might come up.

Life won't change on its own unless one changes something. So, with the kind of issues that X has and his complete unwillingness to change, isn't suicide the best option for him?

P.S: He isn't going to go through with it because: (1) He can't do that to my family, (2) He's too much of a coward. He tried tightening a belt around his neck a few months ago, but let go when the blood to his face stopped flowing.

Suicidal Ideation

askin’ victims of domestic violence: should a guy be forgiven if he’s shown growth/ given the chance to ‘’get into‘’ other relationships in the future? if so, should he inform his new partner abt his dark past? 
now, to ma boys…do u believe in the genuine change of a man who’s assaulted a woman? can he truly mature & grow to never make that same mistake again ??? be honest (i could put the woman in the position of ‘aggressor’ too, as abuse is abuse and is never justifiable under any circumstances… but unfortunately we women are more vulnerable to this type of situation, as we’ve noticed. give me ur opinions :‘’)

Anger Issues

I hate this feeling where I want to talk to people but at the same time I wanna be alone

Anxiety

Just a heads up about my condition. It keeps getting worse. I don’t know how long I can hold it in now. The storm that’s taking place inside of me is a brutal one and I don’t know how to get out of the clutches of this storm. It somehow feels like my heart is bleeding even though it isn’t, I know. Probably the worst I’ve felt till now. I just want to escape from here. I want to escape this reality of mine where I’m being tormented so much. I don’t want to live in a world like this where I feel this way. It somehow feels like it’s better to die at this point. I just can’t. I’m just so messed up right now even to say a word. I know that I’m broken inside. But no one here would understand me even one bit. I thought that I could take help from my roommates, but lately one of my roommates is turning out to be more of an asshole to me and yesterday I even yelled a bit at him. I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I thought these were people that I needed to trust the most, after all I’m living with them. But I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t handle anything that’s going on in my life. I don’t even have the mind to study now. By each passing day I’m cursing myself and my fate to end up in this profession. I don’t understand it a bit. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do or what I’m going to do. I don’t know where my life is going. I don’t have my life in my grips now. I don’t know whom I should cry out for help because honestly I just don’t know who would help me with these feelings. I’ve always made the worst decisions. I’m realizing that whilst I write. I just hate myself for being here. I don’t know how I am going to spend 6 more days here without having any more suicidal thoughts. Yes, you heard it right. This place makes me want to die. The want to die is tempting here. I just don’t know. I guess I haven’t told you but yeah I won’t go out in lame way. If I do go ahead and do it, it would always be jumping off a building. At least it would be over in a flash. Without any suffering, I’ll be gone. I just don’t know who or what I am anymore. Take this as a cry out for help, if you may. But I don’t know what this really is. I just wanted to let you know that I’m feeling all these emotions and am clueless where I should go with these emotions. The next 6 days are going to be difficult for me to survive. And this is by far the most I’ve been tempted to end this shitshow of a life once and for all. I just don’t know how to deal with things. I’m a clueless being. I don’t have anything good about me. I’m just a fucking loser and always will be. I could never make my parents feel proud of me. I could never express how much someone meant to me at the right time. I couldn’t achieve what I wanted to. And most of all, I somehow manage to always hurt people in some way or the other. A person like me doesn’t deserve a place here on this planet. I should have been long gone. I don’t know what to do. I just try to be a good person but always end up being the bad one. I have this rage inside of me that could explode any minute if I don’t take care of it. But on the other hand it feels like the day I made some choices, my reason to live was long gone. I just don’t have the guts to face another failure or setback. I’ve lost all hope that I had. I lost all the positiveness I had inside of me. The person that I am is just a hollow shell of a person who has constant sad thoughts and wants to just die. I don’t know what my purpose is anymore. Earlier I had it clear in my mind what I had to do, but now I don’t. Why can’t I catch a break? Why? Just why? Don’t I deserve happiness ever? What wrong did I do to be born in this place? Why does everyone expect so much of me? I’m a human. Why am I not treated like that? WHY??

Depression

Why would someone just breakdown upon seeing the picture of someone they once truly truly loved and then decided to move on because it was all in their head and they felt nothing for you?

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts