TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorders/implied eating disorder mentions, self-harm
I hate this. I hate it. I hate this so much. Why can’t I just… have a normal relationship with food. It’s always binge one day and then barely eat anything for the rest of the week. Why do I have to feel so guilty when I eat something? Why can’t I just be normal for once? I haven’t checked my weight at all, but its probably the same maybe even higher. I’m bruising pretty quickly and its starting to get pretty cold even though fall is barely here. I hate looking at myself. I don’t want this anymore. I hate this. Why can’t I just stop doing this to myself? I’ve managed to convince my parents and my friends and even my therapist that I’m getting better, but I’m struggling so much. I don’t really feel safe talking to anybody about it except a few people. I want to get help but what if I get sent to a psych ward? Hah- it took me 2 hours to eat an entire bowl of chips because I was chewing so slowly. Will I even get better at this point? I’m so obsessed with calories and I haven’t even touched most of the food in the cabinets. I’m so close to just taking a blade and dragging it along my skin. I know that’s helped before. So maybe it’ll help again. When will this end? Please please please somebody anybody whatever divine force or being out there please make it stop.
Joy @joyforlife
It’s okay buddy. Sometimes we crave for eating much more then we generally do. There is nothing wrong that you need to end your life, believe me.
And don’t need to use blade or anything that will harm you please.
Look, I don’t know much about you so can’t say exactly what you’re going through but I guess if you like to eat calories you can try gym. It will help, but blade won’t help you bro. Please try to understand that.
And your therapist is here to cure you, you shouldn’t lie to him/her. If you will be frank with him/her then you will get the real help. I know you are a brave child you just need support. I support you on that. Don’t feel guilty. It’s okay really
Hey… I been there I know how u r feeling … I feel the same way most of time… if u need someone to talk just dm me
