I’m working understanding myself, I’m learning and I feel. As I do this, I let myself be me; no judging and no punishment. I’m feeling. The pain, the shame, the sadness, the happiness, the calm, the angriness, the emptiness, everything. I remember and my body does too. But these memories, this past me… does not define me anymore. I was, I learned, I go on. They shaped me as a person, yet they aren’t me. I made mistakes, and I’m thankful for them. No matter how much they hurt me, I’m glad for the bitter experience. They expand my perspective, make me able to feel towards me and others. Make me understand better.
Now that I learned, to keep learning and understanding new things I have to heal. I have to forgive myself, not listening to my ego or those intrusive thoughts we all know well. I have to forgive others not for their sake, but for my own sanity. I don’t need punishment, the shame. I don’t need to keep suffering, no one and not even God is telling me that I still need to do that; to suffer.
I’m still working my feelings and my thoughts. Is tough. Very tough. But not impossible. To reach my constant transformation and change, I need to do all of these things. I need to remember and feel, without judging, and let myself be. Meditate and reflect about it, trying to understand myself and how to grow better. No matter how cheesy or even corny this all sounds, it’s the truth I’m trying to accept. I do my own change, I decide to leave this hole.
If you read this, I encourage you to grow and change. Keep this constant transformation and keep learning, work with yourself and not against. Don’t listen to your ego and bad thoughts. You’re capable of so many things, the first step is believing. You can manifest what your heart desires, you can do so much more. But to do all that, you need to know yourself more and transform. Feel, learn, heal.
I’m taking my first step, I’m excited walking these baby steps towards my transformation. Something transformed in me the moment I broke the loop by changing the mindset I was living by for years, what the HELL: my whole life. I’m not giving up. I’m walking and I’m finally deciding to live.
Transform yourself, don’t scratch the surface. Go deeper. Feel it. Investigate more. Fall the times you need to fall, take this time to be and exist. You can do it
" I have to forgive others not for their sake, but for my own sanity. "
SO TRUE. And no you do not sound cheesy at all. What you wrote here is so important. Thank you so much for sharing.