Exhausted

So there's this bestie of mine, she introduced me to her male bestfriend. He was so vibin and it didn't took so much time and we become besties as well but later on I noticed his behaviour towards my bestie, he always took her for granted like whenever we hangout me and my female bestie he only came when I was there not when she told him to come alone. He refused to meet her everytime and whenever he made her upset i took her side and scolded him for his behaviour he always apologize to her but  sometimes he hurted me as well but my bestie didn't took my side. She always took his side like I'm at fault but I ignore that but yesterday they got in a argument I tried to sort it out but i end up messed it up and he told us don't contact me again and she left too! so I thought since I came into his life they're drifting and it breaks my heart so today I decided to leave them both for their best! I THING I'M WRONG HERE!! idk I wanna hear your opinion. 😩

3am Thoughts

I loved a guy more than any one in this world, there was a point i even stopped thinking about my parents and give him the first priority. I was ready to do anything for him also i told ll get converted to his religion if parents had a problem. After being to considerate and adjusting to all this problem he dumped me and got engaged to some gals his parents found.
We dated for 5 years, i mean don't i deserving him talking to his parents atleast once? Guess what he dint. Now i wonder what was he doing with me for all those years was i just a toy for him or time pass.
I feel disgusted for letting some one use me mentally andd disgusted to let him treat me thay way.

Anxiety

I'm feeling confused. pretty much good but there is this guy who's my classmate I've been texting with almost every day. when I first saw him he was this quiet kid who took 2 months to talk to people. but then once we started texting and then he revealed why he was that way at the beginning and all. now I'm hella confused about what I feel about him.

Hi friends!
I would like to share what thoughts are running ryt now at @1:30am . 
During my initial days of job training I met a guy in my team. Felt so connected, I travelled 3 months with him. Later I couldn't clear training n I need to leave the job. I saw *tears* in his eyes that day when I was leaving. I have never seen a guy crying so after my father and brother for me!

Later I found some job in other state but couldn't come out of his thoughts. He is so connected to me but he kind of behaves uninterested,disconnected, egoistic n arrogant sometyms. He takes long time to respond to my text msgs. Hence 3 months ago I messaged him saying that "I am done with understanding you..I am done with everything". He didn't respond to that msg.

Recently a month ago...he again messaged me saying..he is sorry. He overreacted etc.. and I started to speak normally. He kind of talked to me intimately asking me to share pics of mine. For which I wasn't really ok. After few days when I was casually talking about his behaviour or what had hurt me about his behaviour, he abruptly left the chat. After a week gap, I messaged him " hi..how r u dng.." then he replied "I am done with talking. I  am done with feelings too". 

I don't understand his behaviour.  When I moved on, he himself msgd me stating sorry and later he himself left me by saying the same dialogues which I said him. I feel so disturbed by his behaviour. I feel he is kind of egoistic that he always wanted to ignore and wants me to crave back.but the connection we share reminds me of him. How do I get out of his thoughts!

Recently

Emotional Abuse

I think I get over him but everytime I look into those beautiful eyes I go on a roller coaster ride that leads to outer space


Crush

I'm tired. 
Tired of seeking love outside. Because my past relationships and trauma keep haunting me and taunting me that I'm not worth of it. 
First relationship where the guy chased me for over 1.5 years and broke up within 4 months. Told me it was my fault, i didn't know how to make it work. If it was my fault, if i didn't know how to work a relationship u could have taught me. U could have put efforts to make it work but instead of doing that u chose to leave me stranded questioning myself, questioning my worth. 
I couldn't get into another relationship for over 2 years after this happened.
Recently i tried believing in love again. This guy made me realise that i can also love again. He brought out a new version of me which i didn't even know exist in me. He made me more open, bold and expressive. But broke my heart without even being in a relationship. He was neither a friend, nor a boyfriend but when he left i felt empty inside. It's not that he wanted to leave intentionally. He wanted to cheat on his girlfriend (soon to be wife) with me which i thought was worse than being in a relationship so i pushed him away.

My question is why is it always me? Why always i find such people? 
It's not that I'm incomplete without love. I'm happy by myself and i know that I don't need anyone else to make me happy. I'm just saying that if u cannot give me what i deserve then please stay out of my life. Stop entering my life and messing with my happiness and peace. I'm better off without you so just stay away from me. 
When will i get what i want and what i deserve ?


Other

How to get past someone you liked so much and now they no longer live in your life.?
It shouldn't feel like a void or they shouldn't set the bar for my next relationships  please help I am literally  messing up my head

How do you get a guy who you met online through your friend to stop texting you?
I'm not interested, but he seems really desperate to get a gf. I find him kind of weird and I want to stop talking to him but in a nice way that wouldn't come off rude.

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