
Today there is a strange restlessness in my mind As if something is lost. This restlessness is troubling me...

Aditya Sahu

Kashish

Just you need some rest and relaxation every weekend. Have a good sleep or massage to get relax. 

3am Thoughts

Feeling so useless 

Anxiety

Is being sensitive immature...?

Loveeeeee Taylor Swift <3 

Love

Hey so I don't really know how this thing works but I wanna talk to someone cause I don't really have anyone I can talk to but, I honestly just feel so alone. like I have 2 amazing best friends but sometimes I just feel so out of it like I don't even know how to explain. A year ago I lost everyone of my friends that I had for 8 years so that led me to a depression and very bad anxiety. I almost had to go on to pills but im better thanks to my new two friends. I also became a lot more closer to God and I've very happy about. I think that has helped me a lot. Eating has become a bit of an issue with me.. umm sometimes I think starving my self is a better bet than having to eat and look worse than I do. (im sorry if you are going through this, it sucks and I hope it gets better) 

I'm having rapid mood swings. My closest friends stoped talking with me because of this and it has caused me to go into depression. I'm getting better now but since I'm living in college hostel seeing them happy without me and not being bothered about my absence makes me feel unwanted and useless. 

Friends

I've finally realized that I expect too much of myself. All this time I've felt like a failure. Why can't seem to have a work/school/life balance when everyone else can obtain one? Why can't I seem to find that area where I'm doing what I have to but don't feel like I'm just existing? Why don't I have time to do things that I want? And I would bring these things up and everyone would just give encouraging messages of you can do it, or sometimes you just have to push through the unpleasant parts to get where you want. Which yes are true but I constantly feel like I'm at my breaking point of just snapping and not being able to move from my bed for weeks on end. And I could never pinpoint it. What was the cause. No one was telling me I had to do these things. No one said I had to have a full time job, take 18 credit hours and be the go to person for everyone but here I am doing all these things. The past few weeks have been so bad. I've been slacking on my school work immensely, I show up to work slightly late everyday because I am literally waking up and getting dressed and leaving, I'm eating once a day (and not even a meal more like a handful of crackers), I was showering maybe once every four days, I was seeing my friends hardly ever and anytime I had free time I was sleeping. Even on my off days I didn't do anything I needed to because I just pretended like none of my problems existed so I could just have that little bit of time for myself. And this week I got super sick. It probably started off with allergies but the way I've been living for the past month and a half I'm sure made my regular allergies kick my ass completely. And on top of that a serious bout of depression joined the party. So here I was laying in bed wondering why I'm doing everything I should but I still wish that I was doing none of it and it finally hit me. I'M THE ONE WHO IS EXPECTING TOO MUCH! I'm the one who thought that I could take 18 credit hours, work 40 hours a week and live my life and be happy. And I'm finally realizing I can't. Maybe other people can and that's amazing but I can't...and that's okay. So I am now trying to find the courage to email my professor's and ask for extra credit or maybe just a little help on getting my grades up for the last stretch of the semester and tell my boss that I  need to cut my 5 days a week down to 2 or 3. I guess I'm just here asking for support or someone to tell me that this isn't an awful idea because I am currently feeling that I am letting so many down. I know logically that what I'm doing is best but I still feel like I'm letting so many people down. I know in that I can get over this but right now in this moment it feels like it's impossible. Thanks in advance.

Mental Health

Yesterday I was feeling down( i screwed up a machine at work as its my first ever). The guilt that i have caused company this loss was eating me up. But after conversing with colleagues I realised that this is normal and even experienced employees also fail to be more efficient. it's not a big deal
These small talks with colleagues are satisfying 

Work

I m confused about myself. What really I'm. Innocent or wicked. I m trapped in my distorted thoughts. I cant able to feel real feelings.  Have No one to really understand me. To help me out what exactly it is and how to get rid of my virtual life and get back in real life.  Looping around same habits. Low self esteem. No friends. No hobby. No goals.feels like im Selfish. Caught so much in virtual world due to social media that now real world idealogies fading and now confusing what to do. Want to leave . And deep down i know what to do what to not. But cant do  as if i leave these then what else ill do to get myself and my mind busy or get pleasure 
 Adopted some bad habbits to divert my mind or to get pleasure. And now regretting on that too as again it feels bad but on the same time cant leave them as i have nothing else to do in life to be happy, to really enjoy happiness. 

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts