Today, not most of the day and time I really keep on losing my self by seeing others as the right and good person while me only some unwanted child and the least favorite by my family, it is really hard to not keep have suicidal thought when people always label you as piece of shit while you were trying as hard as you can for not gave up on happiness and life. You know it so freaking hard to always act like you were fine by whatever people mock and said the harsh words and curse you as you are the bad luck and slave while you were grown up. As well as I always need to put a nice and fake smile after bad and harsh things they did to me. you know I really wanted to die so badly:)