today my day went bad. We were supposed to have our time (me&my crush who is also my friend now) but he was just gossiping with his friends. He didn't even wish me for my exams and because of that i got angry and ignored him. I gave him a hint to come separately to talk but he ignored it. 

Him and I have recently been friends and he's senior in my college. he asked me to come today so that we could talk just like we do everyday but instead today he was busy with his friends and idk why instead of mingling with me he was doing it with my group of friends(whom I introduced) along with his friend. Even when I was leaving for my exam, he didn't bother to wish me. 

Crush

Don't know what to do my boyfriend i want to check on him that he will betray me or cheat me because he was like that and I'm insecure about it and he didn't understand my feelings he thinks if i want old school type of love for him that is bullshit if i need attention or want him to pamper me so he reply with that be mature don't act like attention seeker, if i express my feelings in front of him like I'm feeling insecure or you'll cheat me than he say it's my fault that I'm overthinking and he is doing his best he can but actually he is doing in his comfort zone.

Boyfriend

Feeling very sad . I feel that there's so many things i wanna talk about but there's noone to listen. I feel depressed too sometimes . Can someone help

Anxiety

Its been kinda awkward to talk about sex to someone especially girls 
I have alot of issues to ask any girl wanna talk?

Sexual Health

I'm feeling so unmotivated. In my last year and about to graduate soon from uni but i feel like I don't have a good enough work for my thesis. Everytime I present something I worked so hard for the teachers would basically tell me to fix this or that and even though it's not personal, I feel like all my work and effort and time I spent just went down the drain. 
I am so stressed and always think that I need to do some work but then I'm so unmotivated and when i don't do much i feel guilty for not achieving anything

College

Kuch din or sahi magar,
jab milege to mulakat yaadgar hogi,
Jee lenge hum zindagi us mulaqat mein,
Kya pata tumhe likha hai ya nahi taqdeer mein...

3am Thoughts

On pondering about how it begun,I can only remember one vivid memory. Everytime,I think about it. I always have this flash back again and again. It has me hiding under a wooden dining table.watching my mum getting slapped. Tears flowing out of my eyes and my whole body shivering involuntarily. It was from this moment that my panic attack began. It might be common for anyone reading this but for me this was my childhood, my life, this created a fear in me. This played a role in making my personality and shaping my fears. 
Throughout my childhood,I have often seen my mum getting hurt by my dad. 
Nevermind, This is not the only thing that explains me. My mum did help me have a creative space in my life. 
I learnt to swim, sing, play instruments,dance, volunteered for an animal ngo, wrote songs and even composed them. These thing are who I am. Not a childhood trauma victim. 


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