Today I met my long time gf, who is also my best friend. I had been going through a lot recently. I have written all about them in here.
So, we had a direct conversation last night. She pointed out how I might be suffocating her. I would not say she was illogical. Our relation has become too one-dimensional and what I deduced is that she is looking for some change and also she is not that interested to talk to me anymore. The problematic part is I am really open for a honest and all saying conversation where no one will hide anything. I know she had been talking to her student for a long time now. I was waiting for her to tell me but she did not. I really want to trust her, but she is keeping a lot from me. I am giving her the space she is asking for. Maybe she will see me for who I am, the person who have been with her for a really long time. Or will she go for someone or something else?
The last few weeks made me realize that holding on and expecting to be accepted is only adding to my misery. I love her, I can’t deny that. And I will not interfere in the freedom she wants now. I need to work on myself. I will focus on myself. I can only take care of myself. Let life decide what happens next.
I believe acknowledging the issues or problems in one’s relationship and with oneself is one of the biggest step and you have already done that. All the best.
“The last few weeks made me realize that holding on and expecting to be accepted is only adding to my misery.” - I am glad that you realised this. Sometimes you need to let go even if you care deeply for someone or even if you love them. If being with them doesn’t bring you peace and happiness, there is no point in being with them.